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40s is the new 20s they say, and rightly so. Age is merely a number and even at 40, having crushes feels liberating and is like a therapy to your soul.
Let’s be very clear from the start (in case there is even an iota of doubt) that those of you looking for “aunty” kinda of advice – reboot. Others, mix yourself some G&T get set for confession time, because declaring crushes in your fabulous 40s, hmmmmm, that’s something to talk about in’t it? Like Bonnie Raitt crooned in her Grammy-winning number. It’s “man bites dog” as my journalism profession would tell me… in other words: NEWSWORTHY. Something to share with your soul sisters, who would get it. Completely.
Like this one time recently when me and my girlfriend had one of the best days chasing our collective heartthrob, the mega handsome Spanish golfing ace Rafael Cabrera-Bello. Ooh la la. Muy Bien!
The prestigious Hero Cup was underway at the magnificent DLF Golf Course, and it was one of those rare occasions when non-golfers are allowed to walk across the 18 spectacular holes. Sheer bliss. And a once in a lifetime opportunity, that we were not going to miss for anything! All along we ooh-ed and aah-ed like giggly school-girls.
I think Rafa noticed too; my girlfriend can vouch for that. My teen, however, was among the junior golfers volunteering as score keepers, and had this quizzical, almost scandalized look every time he passed us by. His one reaction, whenever I loudly declare my “love” for any of my innumerable crushes, is “Ok, so go , marry him!” Quite amusing, if you ask me. Poor little dear! If I’d listened to him I’d have myself a merry harem!
Brings me to the best thing about having crushes – that it’s not about “owning” or “achieving” but purely this wonderful feeling that flits about like a beautiful butterfly in your life and in fact introduces you to a part of yourself that loves, laughs, lives freely. This inner core that is still pure and uniquely individual, but buried deep within the stifling patina of duties, responsibilities, deadlines, milestones and this constant effort to fit in!
Do some dusting girl! For, despite being called a crush, it’s actually quite liberating. Not to be confused with things like an infatuation or one-sided love, lust, desperation, desire or anything cougar or raunchy. None of that! Just “your favourite distraction!”
The best part: it’s to do with the feeling and not the person per se, so NO expiry date! Whoa!
A heart that loves, lives. And love is so multi-dimensional, even a lifetime isn’t enough to truly discover each delightful facet. A crush being one such facet! And you can have multiple crushes going for you at one time.
Yup you can, certainly at 40! Isn’t it famously being called the “new 20s?” The gorgeous Heidi Klum declares that, and I am so totally going with her!
Right at this very moment, my crush chart is choc-a-bloc.
The interns include Ranveer Singh (he’s a dish in every movie..mooch or no mooch), Shahid Kapoor (donno how many times I’ve ogled at his adoring pic with Misha) and a small smattering of hunks – Kohli, Varun Dhawan, Duggabti, Siddhant Chaturvedi to name just a few.
The evergreens firmly ensconced in my heart are – SRK, my childhood sweetheart (I think I am the only one who found When Harry Met Sejal deeply romantic!); then the ultra calm and collected MSD: uff that guy just sends my heart spinning, every time.
My college sweetheart: Telugu actor – Venkatesh; Kapil Dev- I mean seeing him cry on National Television was one of the most heart breaking things (and meeting him at a golf club last year made me go weak in my knees), then Dharmendra: yes, yes, the years really don’t matter, he is the baap! Full-staap!! Oh! And how can I forget: Milind Somen: I think God broke the mould after hand-crafting that one!
There’s my “angrez” list too in case you were wondering if I am racist, starting with the lissome Bruce Lee to the brawny John Cena, Brock Lesner be damned. Brad was on my list too, till his infidelities, and now he’s in the pits! Matthew McConaughey, along with Channing Tatum, Daniel Craig and actor par excellence Javier Bardem are definitely drool-worthy. Plus Enrique Iglesia and the hot hot Adam Levine! Although it’s not all about glamour and tinsel. I have this whole other private list that starts with Obama (Oh Mama) and ends with David Beckham, Jamie Oliver and Federer!
Never quite liked Clooney and Gere that way though! But I think I had a wee bit of a crush on Raghuram Rajan as well; intelligence, you see, is very attractive. If it was looks I would have been drooling over Shashi Tharoor – man that guy is a looker.
There are many many many more…. but it’s not “truth day.”
Which brings me to this very interesting article that appeared a while ago: Women prefer good looks over intelligence and civility in men, finds US study.
Hey My God! As far as I am concerned, and I think I speak for a whole generation of women, the study proves only 2 things: either there are NO intelligent men left (quite believable in Covefefe Country) OR morons conducted the survey; either way its best we do not dignify the survey with a retort and leave the idiots be in their self-styled masochistic cocoons.
What women really want is – just men worthy of being called men! The Notebook nailed it with – “I have a crush on your mind, I fell for your personality, and your looks are just a big bonus.”
So then, take a sip of your G&T girls, munch on some bruschetta and crush on! Go ahead and believe me it’s the best therapy for your lovely soul! It gives a spring to your step, brings a smile on your face and this deeply satisfying feeling of being alive! What the heck? 40s are the new, improved 40s and I am totally loving it!
Image Source: YouTube/Sonata
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Published short story writer-Feature Writer-Blogger-Author-Mother-Human-Work in Progress!! Gunjan Pant believes she learns her lessons mainly from travelling across India & the world, and by interacting with interesting people she meets read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: