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Often friendly banter turns into shaming and we end up hurting another person. It is time we draw a line and think before we mock someone.
Ridicule- The dark side that emerges from the grey line and separates it from teasing and friendly banter.
Being teased about something often creates a sense of embarrassment or shame. For some, a revengeful mind wants to get back with a smart or witty retort. For some others, it brings out their sense of inner calm that makes it look all trivial and therefore, totally unworthy of attention.
Irrespective of where one falls on the spectrum, after a few conversations of this teasing nature, one may decide that enough is enough. This teasing must stop. One starts to become irritable and no longer wishes to exert the energy required to react or ignore.
My earliest memories of childhood are of being teased for my weight and chubby cheeks. I was often teased for being a foodie as well. As adults, we hardly forget those memories. Whether its a boy who teased us back in school or our parents who teased us for something they probably thought was adorable.
We also heard stories of Lord Krishna teasing the gopis and their doing the same in retaliation. Teasing was normal and fun, and so we believed.
But as a grown woman I realized and learnt it the hard way. No matter how self respecting I was, when I trusted or idolized someone, their teasing me seemed to prick deep. It seemed like ridicule. Here was this person that I was emotionally attached to and whose words felt like a grim reality.
Perhaps it also depends on the matter in question or the tone in which something is said, the context, the intent and whether it was in private or in front of others. But, who decides if it was in fact, ridicule?
But, then we were taught never to make a big deal of small things! “Good girls let it go!”. Yet the impact remains deep simmering in various forms, silently rebelling or gradually damaging self esteem. Which is why “ridicule” is often a late realization. And to the people we love and trust, we would do well NOT to hold an emotional placard that says “Ridicule me!”.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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