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Often friendly banter turns into shaming and we end up hurting another person. It is time we draw a line and think before we mock someone.
Ridicule- The dark side that emerges from the grey line and separates it from teasing and friendly banter.
Being teased about something often creates a sense of embarrassment or shame. For some, a revengeful mind wants to get back with a smart or witty retort. For some others, it brings out their sense of inner calm that makes it look all trivial and therefore, totally unworthy of attention.
Irrespective of where one falls on the spectrum, after a few conversations of this teasing nature, one may decide that enough is enough. This teasing must stop. One starts to become irritable and no longer wishes to exert the energy required to react or ignore.
My earliest memories of childhood are of being teased for my weight and chubby cheeks. I was often teased for being a foodie as well. As adults, we hardly forget those memories. Whether its a boy who teased us back in school or our parents who teased us for something they probably thought was adorable.
We also heard stories of Lord Krishna teasing the gopis and their doing the same in retaliation. Teasing was normal and fun, and so we believed.
But as a grown woman I realized and learnt it the hard way. No matter how self respecting I was, when I trusted or idolized someone, their teasing me seemed to prick deep. It seemed like ridicule. Here was this person that I was emotionally attached to and whose words felt like a grim reality.
Perhaps it also depends on the matter in question or the tone in which something is said, the context, the intent and whether it was in private or in front of others. But, who decides if it was in fact, ridicule?
But, then we were taught never to make a big deal of small things! “Good girls let it go!”. Yet the impact remains deep simmering in various forms, silently rebelling or gradually damaging self esteem. Which is why “ridicule” is often a late realization. And to the people we love and trust, we would do well NOT to hold an emotional placard that says “Ridicule me!”.
Image Source: Unsplash
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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