Solitude is as calm as still water, fueling confidence and self-power.
Loneliness – A deep emotion that resonates among the sad, depressed and the lost? or fleeting thoughts that exist only as interludes in an otherwise happy single life?
When the chips are down and the nights are filled with tears, it is that gruelling pain that keeps you from falling asleep. Memories of the past flash before the mind with equal vigour as worries of the future. They bring with them hurtful but needless comparisons with peers who were perhaps blessed with a better life – beautiful home, boyfriend, husband, babies and all things part of the beaten track. The mind uses these to stress the fact that your life is not just different but unfortunate and lacking. As though you were otherwise ordained to follow a script which was not to be.
Yet, in those lonely nights, your determined mind continues to plot ways to make you feel better. Perhaps this means better things for you – a new job, freedom to travel or move to a new place, freedom to go back to school and pursue education or simply a life of joyful solitude! Does this mean that life is happy even if it steers away from the original script? Is loneliness always a problem?
What the mind plots, the Universe makes happen. The taste of freedom is sweet as nectar. Solitude is as calm as still water, fueling confidence and self-power. The new job or the solo trips abroad, the move to a new city or the pursuit of education or sport creates a happiness spiral much greater than the original emotion that steered you there in the first place. Loneliness is thus reduced, to those tiny blips in life’s radar that rarely remind you of the missing romantic relationship which (Oh, Well!) doesn’t seem necessary now. Dates and romantic relationships are often an unintended but pleasant distraction rather than a need.
If only the caterpillar knew that it was always destined to be a ‘butterfly’!
Image via Pixabay
Writing makes me happy, so does expressing my views. I am opinionated, optimistic and interested in influencing a change in mindset. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
This strange love story reminds me of Princess Diana when she gave an interview about Prince Charles - "There were three of us in this marriage!”
This love was flawed and broken the way only we humans know how to break things with our ego, pride, insecurity and complexities!
Where do I even begin to tell the story of how deep a love can be, how it transcends time, place and people. Perhaps this is a story about how women are their own worst enemies. Either way it is a story that tells us how frail, fragile and fraught we are as humans and how much we hurt each other.
This love story began when I was two years old. Growing up in India in a culture that wove love stories like Laila Majnu, Heer Ranjha and the epic symbol of love, the Taj Mahal, into the very fabric of our existence, love was always an integral part of our lives.
One such love story was of a boy and a girl who were neighbours. The boy, an athlete, artist and a poet, found his muse in this shy, thoughtful and in her own way poetic girl, who seemed to worship the very ground he walked on. Her face could be found in all the paintings he created, and her name in every poem he wrote. The girl called him Sagar, which means ocean, symbolizing his all-encompassing love for her.
Everything thing was going well; their wedding date was being finalized, till the boy’s older brother who was a doctor in the same little town, got accepted into Stanford Medical School to do his MS.
Earlier my husband would say, 'Arey! What is there in making dal-roti? It's so simple.' After he had to cook everyday when I was ill, he has stopped saying that to me!
“Arey! What is there to do in making dal roti? Put a handful of lentils in the cooker and let it whistle and make two rotis. After all, how long will it take?” A handful of dal (lentils) and two rotis! This is the story of every woman and no one seems to understand.
Some time ago, after a shopping spree, my husband and I entered the house, exhausted. I had just about kept all the bags aside, when my husband said, “I am very hungry, can you make something.”
I looked at my husband in amazement and thought, ‘He had just had food, how did he get hungry again so soon?’
My husband, as if he had read my face, said, “Arey! You know that my stomach is not filled with outside food. Just make dal roti. What is there to do in making dal roti? Put a handful of lentils in the cooker and let it whistle and make two rotis. After all, how long will it take?”
‘Is this the way dal (lentils) and roti are made?’ The thought came to my mind. ‘After all, I also went along and now I am tired too.’ I was also getting angry at myself that after all, I had spoiled the habit of everyone in the house.
Depression after a bad breakup can be literally killing, but how can this be dealt with? A personal experience.
I had my breakup in February this year, after three years of relationship – two happy years, and one half sad and half toxic. The last one year sapped all my energy and time. All I remember is that I would wake up with him shouting and would go to bed at night after an abusive fight. Life became torturous. So I decided to call it off.
The process of breakup itself took another two months because he wouldn’t give up.
Earlier, whenever I came across someone who was taking help from their family or friends to resolve a crisis in their relationship, I thought of her/him as weak, someone who couldn’t handle their relationship on their own. But now I understood how exhausting, painful and difficult it can be to come out of a relationship, more so if your partner is violent.
Solo travel promises great experiences, but the loneliness can get unbearable. Here are tips to beat loneliness while travelling alone.
Solo travel is one of the richest experiences within your reach, but the loneliness can get unbearable. Here are some incredible tips to beat loneliness while travelling alone.
“Lone travel is not about being alone, it’s about giving space to your thoughts and challenging yourself; it’s about meeting new people and experiencing cultures in a solitude that is non-existential in the everyday life; it’s about changing gears from the world unknown to the world within, again and again”
Solo travel is the ultimate form of Carpe Diem. Your thoughts are invincible. Your journey unfolds under the shadows of the decisions you make. Although in hindsight the trip feels like the best rendezvous with your true self, it may become overwhelming while you are living it. There is a cyclical experience of exuberance and loneliness as you go deep into your journey. If you are a solo women traveller, then safety concerns are valid in any part of the world – interacting with strangers may be difficult, and loneliness can smudge your travel enthusiasm.
So how can you subdue the loneliness of lone travel and enjoy the journey? Here are few tips from my own endeavours: