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I Understand My Mom’s Silences Now, But I Need To Do It Differently

Posted: June 26, 2019

My mom withdrew into herself on ‘those days of the month’, but I need to be a different kind of mom, so that my kids understand why, and not feel ignored and confused.

I did not like when she ignored me
When she did not talk to me
When she left me on my own
To succumb to confusions.

What could be the reason
I struggled to figure out
But always failed
Succumbing to silence.

Minutes of silence stretched to hours
Hours to days and days to a week
And then all came back to normalcy
I succumbed to the situation.

My best friend, my role model
My confidant and my support
All dissolving into thin air
I succumbed to defeat, unaware.

Now, years later, I am a mother to teenagers
I now understand the reason
Why my mom chose to be silent
She was living her life with her ups and downs.

Having experienced the consequences
I cannot see my kids withering
To whatever I am facing in my life
Be it my hormonal imbalances or health issues.

I choose to make it clear, my reasons for silence
I take my time out to reconcile
For, I want to leave a beautiful image etched
In the hearts of my kids to remember, long after I am gone.

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