6 Ways In Which Being More ‘Selfish’ Has Made Me A Happier Person

Posted: May 6, 2019

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Yes, I have now become selfish and I love it. I should have done this much earlier in my life, but I guess better late than never.

I have become selfish as now I compliment myself first and then others. I look into the mirror; I smile and blow a kiss to myself. I feel beautiful as I am. I realise I should have learnt this much earlier in life but I was too busy in seeing beauty in others, complimenting them for their striking features.

My habit of seeing beauty in others was appreciated, but all this I did at the cost of my own self esteem. I had lowered my confidence after comparing myself with others every time.

Now that I have become very selfish, I first see beauty in myself, and later in others. I don’t find any reason for comparing myself with them, and I truly believe that the beauty which I possess is unmatched.

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.

I praise myself for good work

I have become selfish, as now I acknowledge and praise myself for whatever good I have done so far in my life, be it for others, in my professional life, or even for friends and family.

I never had registered and acknowledged my good work inside my mind. I always acknowledged the good work of others and appreciated them thoroughly, but I wounded myself badly by expecting too much from myself. I demeaned myself by being critical about my good work which I did to the best of my capacity, and lowered my self esteem.

Now I continue doing good for others, I continue seeing the good work of others, and acknowledging them, appreciating them, and showing a sense of gratitude. But I also now show a lot of gratitude towards myself, for being a nice soul and then appreciating myself for whatever good I could do. I have stopped expecting too much from myself, and I trust that come what may, I shall continue doing well wherever I could.

Registering my goodness, appreciating it has given me a different level of confidence. I am not in a race, so I may not be at the level people expect me to be. I do believe in “do the right deeds and forget about them,” but I would not like to forget myself. I may not expect anything in return, but I will not forget myself to be appreciated first.

I distance myself from negativity

I have become selfish because I have understood what mental peace is for me now. I have understood that distancing myself from negative approaches, arguments, and unnecessary fights is healthy for my soul even if they erupt from my most loved ones.

I had believed that I am a great counsellor, and can settle any dispute. Unintentionally and unwontedly I had allowed trivial disputes and bitterness to nestle in my life. More than that, my involvement has not helped anyone because you may change everything but you cannot change the person’s attitude.

Now I am selfish and can understand that more than changing others, it’s better to change self. A piece of advice, that too when sought for, is my philosophy now.

I no longer care for the ‘log kya kahege’ syndrome

I have become selfish now. The LKK (log kya kahenge / what would people say) Syndrome which had dwelled in my entire life is now getting evicted gradually. Selfishly I am pushing that syndrome, aside and giving space to other thoughts like “tujhe kya chahiye/ what do you want” or “my way or the highway”.

I have become selfish because I have started thinking about my own happiness first. I have arrived at that stage where I have realised that even if you walk along with people against my wishes, even if you sacrifice your dreams or needs for others, you would never be happy.

Because the soul inside has had enough of adjustments and readjustments, and now I would really want to hear what my heart says. I have started understanding that instead of log kya kahenge/ what would people say” I should rather believe that “log to kehte rahenge / people would anyway say”, and try to fulfil my dreams and passions.

I no longer apologise all the time

I have now become selfish. I now no more try to pacify all people (I am being very selective now), or try to make them understand my situation, or try to apologise for nothing wrong I have done with them.

I have always said sorry even for a small goof up, that too which was not in my control, and have allowed people to jump on me to have somebody to blame for their failures. I have become selfish now because now I don’t feel apologetic for their failures. If I feel that my situation cannot be explained and people might misunderstand, I keep silent instead, because their misunderstanding is not my problem.

If people have not matured enough to see different perspectives, than they really need to grow up. I remain the same as I am, and don’t allow people to push me around as a culprit. Yes I have become selfish.

I no longer dwell on the wrongs of the past

Yes I have become selfish now as I don’t crib any more on different situations and heart breaks of life. I refrain from talking about what went wrong in the past.

I have become selfish because I feel that for me, my happiness is in looking forward and defining what best the situation is offering me. I have become selfish because I am able to filter out what is ignorable, and what is worth keeping for the sake of my happiness.

I now prefer to have a few close friends who truly deserve my friendship

I have become selfish because I no longer strive to make more and more friends to build a huge network.

Under the influence of many I might have tried to garner more and more friends but I am selfish now as I nurture friendship rather than counting the number of friends. Now I don’t allow people easily to enter my friendship zone. I have understood that they have to truly earn my friendship, and keeping it small, simple and sweet is healthy for my soul.

Now I understand how my being selfish has reduced all complications prevailed throughout in life. This philosophy was so easy and simple to live with. I should have done this earlier, but life is all about learning. I learned it the hard way, but I guess better late than never. Let me see how more selfish I can get in life to be happy and less complicated. I have rather become a simple book to read, a more lovable person. Thanks to the learning process which is called LIFE!

Image source: a still from the movie Dear Zindagi

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