Not Fitting Into That Dress You Wore In College? Big Deal!

So you’ve gained some weight over the years, and don’t fit into that favourite dress. Are you fit and able to be all that you are? Then why do you bother with the naysayers?

The college dress that doesn’t fit. The top you can’t tuck into your jeans till you lose some weight on your belly. The beautiful dress you won’t wear till your waist trims down a bit. Sounds like the usual suspects as you confront your wardrobe everyday? Welcome to the land where no-one is ever happy in the bodies they occupy.

I was on a de-cluttering spree the other day, and ploughed through a tall pile of clothes that I had set aside for ‘when I have my perfect body again’. Guess what, my daughter is 5 now and I’m still waiting for it!

I secretly suspect that my husband shook his head and asked me to let go, only because he realised this might be his one opportunity to create some space for his playstation dvds and other boy treasures, but sitting in-front of that pile just made me question the goals I was chasing.

Wasn’t it enough that I was already fit, that I was eating well, taking care of myself and working out? Did I need to prove something to myself by fitting into those clothes again? Where walking down memory lane didn’t feel like a warm and fuzzy memory but goaded me into thinking of a failed goal!

When I was pregnant, my bones expanded, they creaked and I even went from a size 5 footsize to a size 7 (Yes, Bigfoot!) I did shrink back pretty quickly with a lot of hard work, but I don’t really feel I’ve ever managed to go back to my pre pregnancy size despite working out a lot. And this will continue to be the case till someone figures out how to miraculously shrink bones!

This is something I discuss with my sisters often. They are at different stages of their lives, strong, successful, beautiful women, shining in every aspect of their lives. But this mental ‘fat-o-meter’ is the common malady and yardstick that eats into them as well. They think I have the prefect, enviable body. I think their bodies are great and that I still need to lose a few kgs. It’s a never-ending cycle that we are all trapped in.

It doesn’t help that people around you tend to gnaw away at that confidence at times. I really feel some of the people who make these comments often suffer from similar insecurities, but it gives them some kind of pleasure in calling out others.

I remember I was at this party looking smoking hot, sashaying around like a diva in my little black dress. I received a million compliments and was floating on cloud 9 and had ascended even further when an acquaintance who I believe works out even in her sleep, saunters up to me and says with a smile, ‘Carrying a little holiday weight are we?’ I wanted to punch her in the face as I knew I was looking perfectly slim and she was messing with me, but she managed to ruin my mood anyway. Then a few minutes later I felt silly. How on earth did it matter what she thought of my body? If I had the strength to work, play, travel, live my life to the fullest, be an amazing daughter, mother, wife and sister, how could I ask more of the body I was doing it all in?

I’ll be lying if I tell you that I’ve won this battle mentally. But I’ve at-least made a start. Join me ladies. Say this to yourselves every day.

• I am bloody hot.

• I have a great body.

• If I don’t fit into an old dress, I’ll buy a new one that’s even better!

• I won’t suck in my tummy everytime anyone passes by.

• I’ll tell every friend of mine that she looks great just the way she is.

• It’s not the fault of the idiot who body shames, its my own mind I need to tame!

• I will work out. I’ll eat right. This body is fantastic the way it is, whether loose or tight!

Image source: YouTube

Richa S Mukherjee

Richa started her writing journey as a child, scribbling away poems and stories for her

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