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So you've gained some weight over the years, and don't fit into that favourite dress. Are you fit and able to be all that you are? Then why do you bother with the naysayers?
So you’ve gained some weight over the years, and don’t fit into that favourite dress. Are you fit and able to be all that you are? Then why do you bother with the naysayers?
The college dress that doesn’t fit. The top you can’t tuck into your jeans till you lose some weight on your belly. The beautiful dress you won’t wear till your waist trims down a bit. Sounds like the usual suspects as you confront your wardrobe everyday? Welcome to the land where no-one is ever happy in the bodies they occupy.
I was on a de-cluttering spree the other day, and ploughed through a tall pile of clothes that I had set aside for ‘when I have my perfect body again’. Guess what, my daughter is 5 now and I’m still waiting for it!
I secretly suspect that my husband shook his head and asked me to let go, only because he realised this might be his one opportunity to create some space for his playstation dvds and other boy treasures, but sitting in-front of that pile just made me question the goals I was chasing.
Wasn’t it enough that I was already fit, that I was eating well, taking care of myself and working out? Did I need to prove something to myself by fitting into those clothes again? Where walking down memory lane didn’t feel like a warm and fuzzy memory but goaded me into thinking of a failed goal!
When I was pregnant, my bones expanded, they creaked and I even went from a size 5 footsize to a size 7 (Yes, Bigfoot!) I did shrink back pretty quickly with a lot of hard work, but I don’t really feel I’ve ever managed to go back to my pre pregnancy size despite working out a lot. And this will continue to be the case till someone figures out how to miraculously shrink bones!
This is something I discuss with my sisters often. They are at different stages of their lives, strong, successful, beautiful women, shining in every aspect of their lives. But this mental ‘fat-o-meter’ is the common malady and yardstick that eats into them as well. They think I have the prefect, enviable body. I think their bodies are great and that I still need to lose a few kgs. It’s a never-ending cycle that we are all trapped in.
It doesn’t help that people around you tend to gnaw away at that confidence at times. I really feel some of the people who make these comments often suffer from similar insecurities, but it gives them some kind of pleasure in calling out others.
I remember I was at this party looking smoking hot, sashaying around like a diva in my little black dress. I received a million compliments and was floating on cloud 9 and had ascended even further when an acquaintance who I believe works out even in her sleep, saunters up to me and says with a smile, ‘Carrying a little holiday weight are we?’ I wanted to punch her in the face as I knew I was looking perfectly slim and she was messing with me, but she managed to ruin my mood anyway. Then a few minutes later I felt silly. How on earth did it matter what she thought of my body? If I had the strength to work, play, travel, live my life to the fullest, be an amazing daughter, mother, wife and sister, how could I ask more of the body I was doing it all in?
I’ll be lying if I tell you that I’ve won this battle mentally. But I’ve at-least made a start. Join me ladies. Say this to yourselves every day.
I have a great body.
If I don’t fit into an old dress, I’ll buy a new one that’s even better!
I won’t suck in my tummy everytime anyone passes by.
I’ll tell every friend of mine that she looks great just the way she is.
It’s not the fault of the idiot who body shames, its my own mind I need to tame!
I will work out. I’ll eat right. This body is fantastic the way it is, whether loose or tight!
Image source: YouTube
Richa is a Ted X speaker, an award-winning writer, columnist, ex-journalist and advertising professional. She has authored four books of which three are being adapted for screen. She is a blogger and travel read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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