Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
Even a Kerala court recently decided that a woman could not file a molestation case because she was wearing a sexually provocative dress. See? I rest my case.
It’s that time of the year when a strange news article appears and leaves you gobsmacked, wondering what stage of evolution our society is in. It’s the kind of thinking that even a T-rex, while chewing on his lunch would find regressive during his time.
Did you recently read about the asst. professor who was fired for sharing photographs of herself in a bikini on her personal social media account. Some parent managed to get a hold of it and went running to the university management after discovering that it was being circulated amongst the students. The teacher claimed that she had no idea how these images were leaked but lose her job she did, for besmirching the reputation of the institution.
Of course this is her account of the events and I’ve given up journalism years ago, but what this incident surely reeks of is the age old disease of deification of women in various roles, as mothers, sisters, doctors, teachers, who don’t fit the bill unless they fit into the squeaky clean adarsh nari template.
Imagine how incensed the institute was when she asked for a written letter of their decision, that they slapped a legal notice on her, demanding a mindless amount of 99 crore rupees. Now either this institute really had its moral fibres singed in this fracas or they had some urgent repair work and needed emergency funds.
The professor in question insists it was a mistake but stands her ground on the fact that being a teacher does not mean she can’t have a personal life. What would you do in her shoes? Wear a salwar kameez for a swim to be inducted into the hall of fame of morally upright teachers?
I really wonder how our collective common sense deserts us in so many matters especially pertaining to women. If there was a misconduct or even a complaint, of course there should have been an investigation, but a fair one, where she could have had her say, where the leak was reported, where she wasn’t looked upon as some sexually deviant person preying on her students.
When Aamir Khan’s daughter wore a bikini for her birthday pool party, she was trolled mercilessly.
A few years ago, Mithali Raj, someone who has a biopic released in her name recently, was asked to pull down a picture and shamed for wearing a low neck tank top. Talk about double standards. For how can a player with breasts and wardrobe choices ever prove her mettle on the cricket ground. What will the world think of our women cricketers! Haw!
Safa Baig, Irfan Pathan’s wife was trolled and abused for wearing bright nail polish. Go figure.
One of the most disappointing comments I read recently on one such post, shaming a model wearing a top with a plunging neckline was from a woman who said, ‘What is this!? Please go wear a sari.’ If only she had an iota of the grace and magnanimity of a sari that accepts all kinds and shapes and sizes.
An apparel is just a packaging. It’s the mindset within that matters. Even a Kerala court recently decided that a woman could not file a molestation case because she was wearing a sexually provocative dress. See? I rest my case.
Cricketers, teachers, actresses, politicians, no one is spared. Women professionals wanting to have a personal life, opinions and individual choices is still frowned upon to a large extent in many pockets of society. It isn’t ‘right’, read convenient. Conformity is comforting. Whoever choses to look beyond, live beyond, should prepare to be judged, labelled and ostracised.
After chasing criminals as a journalist and spending over a decade in advertising, Richa penned a book of poetry titled A penchant for Prose. She has been a TOI Write India top 10 winner and read more...
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If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Most of my women clients are caregivers—as mothers, wives and daughters. And so, they tend to feel guilty about their ambitions. Belief in themselves is hard to come by.
* All names mentioned in the article have been changed to respect client confidentiality.
“I don’t want to take a pay cut and accept the offer, but everyone around me is advising me to take up what comes my way,” Tanya* told me over the phone while I was returning home from the New Delhi World Book Fair. “Should I take it up?” She summed up her dilemma and paused.
I have been coaching Tanya for the past three months. She wants to change her industry, and we have been working together on a career transition roadmap.
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