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Women are being killed even today for not being able to bear a child, and many of them are tortured physically and mentally for that. When will all this change?
A news item was floating around on my timeline yesterday. Sad news. It said something like ‘a woman has killed herself or she is being murdered for not being able to bear a child.’ Pardon me for my lack of surety, because I didn’t open the link. I didn’t want to read the gory details. I didn’t want to read how that lady must have been tortured. And now she is no more. It pains. I looked at the title on the link, and I almost knew what must have been written inside.
This saddens me beyond words. It is a topic that I have seen my very close friends battling with. The all important question of women and motherhood. And, it can get nasty beyond words. Trust me.
I mean, do people really marry and have sex only to procreate? Probably yes. Maybe an emphatic yes. Because otherwise there wouldn’t have been such mounting pressure on women to bear a child. While women have this natural gift of bringing a new life into the world, How for many others expecting them to do this becomes their privilege. How the family suddenly begins to think that ‘oh wow now we have a machine that will do this for us.’ Well, if the machine works well, good. And, for some godforsaken reason if the machine doesn’t, then, God save the goat.
I know I am being harsh. But, think about it. Shouldn’t childbearing be a happy and natural process? A testimony of love and a happy union? Aren’t a woman and her husband the sole people who should be taking a call on it? Why does the family need to intervene at all?
Here, again, the women. Mother in law and her associates often leave no stone unturned to make it worse. They do. Hello, let’s not deny this. She herself being a woman, it’s really sad that she should be the torch bearer of this campaign against her own daughter in law. Leave exceptions aside people, this is the reality, and it looms large on the lives of most brides of this country. Sadly.
And men? How many husbands can come out into the open and say that it isn’t my wife’s but my problem. Few. I tell you, very very few. It actually take balls to admit your inadequacy. And men from all strata, mind you. The rich, the poor, the educated and the illiterate ones, they all shy away. It hurts their mardangi, right?
This has to change. Must. Must change. She is a human, first. Understand. Absorb. Respect unconditionally. Accept unconditionally. Period.
Or else, all the bachao and padao will do no good to the betis. All gimmicks. Obnoxious. Farce. They will remain where they are perceived to be. All along.
In between the legs.
A version of this was first published on the author’s Facebook page.
Image source: YouTube
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An avid reader, a blogger, a book reviewer, a freelancer writer and an aspiring author. She has an opinion about everything around. And through her writings she reaches out to the world. A mother of read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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