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Can A Woman Be Seen As Much More Than Just A Childbearer?

Posted: December 19, 2018

Women are being killed even today for not being able to bear a child, and many of them are tortured physically and mentally for that. When will all this change?

A news item was floating around on my timeline yesterday. Sad news. It said something like ‘a woman has killed herself or she is being murdered for not being able to bear a child.’ Pardon me for my lack of surety, because I didn’t open the link. I didn’t want to read the gory details. I didn’t want to read how that lady must have been tortured. And now she is no more. It pains. I looked at the title on the link, and I almost knew what must have been written inside.

This saddens me beyond words. It is a topic that I have seen my very close friends battling with. The all important question of women and motherhood. And, it can get nasty beyond words. Trust me.

I mean, do people really marry and have sex only to procreate? Probably yes. Maybe an emphatic yes. Because otherwise there wouldn’t have been such mounting pressure on women to bear a child. While women have this natural gift of bringing a new life into the world, How for many others expecting them to do this becomes their privilege. How the family suddenly begins to think that ‘oh wow now we have a machine that will do this for us.’ Well, if the machine works well, good. And, for some godforsaken reason if the machine doesn’t, then, God save the goat.

I know I am being harsh. But, think about it. Shouldn’t childbearing be a happy and natural process? A testimony of love and a happy union? Aren’t a woman and her husband the sole people who should be taking a call on it? Why does the family need to intervene at all?

Here, again, the women. Mother in law and her associates often leave no stone unturned to make it worse. They do. Hello, let’s not deny this. She herself being a woman, it’s really sad that she should be the torch bearer of this campaign against her own daughter in law. Leave exceptions aside people, this is the reality, and it looms large on the lives of most brides of this country. Sadly.

And men? How many husbands can come out into the open and say that it isn’t my wife’s but my problem. Few. I tell you, very very few. It actually take balls to admit your inadequacy. And men from all strata, mind you. The rich, the poor, the educated and the illiterate ones, they all shy away. It hurts their mardangi, right?

This has to change. Must. Must change. She is a human, first. Understand. Absorb. Respect unconditionally. Accept unconditionally. Period.

Or else, all the bachao and padao will do no good to the betis. All gimmicks. Obnoxious. Farce. They will remain where they are perceived to be. All along.

In between the legs.

A version of this was first published on the author’s Facebook page.

Image source: YouTube

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Vaginal Health & Reproductive Health - योनि का स्वास्थ्य एवं प्रजनन स्वास्थ्य (in Hindi)

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