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Just as it is for most women, Tanushree Dutta too must have found it incredibly hard to speak up. The least we can do is listen with sensitivity.
It isn’t easy.
Whether you are an influential woman or an ordinary one, it isn’t easy. It takes immense courage, strength and conviction over the years to stand and say that ‘Yes, I was wronged’. One probably waits for years for one tight hand who will hold her when she narrates those dark hours. Those trusting eyes who will say, ‘I know you are saying the truth, and go and say it to others. Name. Shame.”
Perhaps, it is once in many years that one finds a soul who doesn’t question your integrity, and accepts you as the wonder you are despite everything. It takes years to come out of that dungeon. To grapple with those menacing looks, the discomforting touches and to do away with the lewd remarks.
It takes time. Ask one who has gone through this. It takes time.
In the last one week, like most of you, I too read about Tanushree Dutta’s accusations against Nana Patekar. Various versions are afloat. For and against arguments are being dropped as if everyone was present there when it all happened. The media is doing its work, and all of it is not bad there too.
I will not get into my opinion on the same. But, I will say what I found the most cringe-worthy fact of the whole fracas. Two facts actually.
I mean, how does it matter? A woman may speak at times even after the abuser is dead. And sometimes never in her lifetime. At least she spoke. Why can’t people just sit and accept that?
…like Amitabh Bachchan. I care a hoot if you are a fan, but I will still say that I lost a lot of respect for him for such defensive stances over the years on such issues. I remember when Pink was released, he penned a letter to his granddaughter. Was it a gimmick then? I agree, when you don’t know the truth you may not want to take sides, but sidelining it with an evasive comment like the one he made, was seriously uncalled for. What does it take to be slightly sensitive and comforting to a person who has been rubbed the wrong way? Is it asking for too much?
As a society, we are still far from such sensitivity. Very far. We still need ‘proof’ when we are wronged. It doesn’t matter if even if come up with evidence. Men or women, it doesn’t matter. Evidence can be conveniently avoided or tweaked to what the listener wants. But, sadly, we fail to understand that even if a man or a woman is made to feel uncomfortable by anyone, whatsoever, that itself must be taken seriously. We don’t always need incidents of rape or molestation to raise our voices.
I wish, and I so wish, people are allowed to speak when they want to. And, are accepted. And more so, that a few stalwarts peel off their masks and stand by society and for society, for the better.
Acting can rest for a while.
An avid reader, a blogger, a book reviewer, a freelancer writer and an aspiring author. She has an opinion about everything around. And through her writings she reaches out to the world. A mother of read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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