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Just as it is for most women, Tanushree Dutta too must have found it incredibly hard to speak up. The least we can do is listen with sensitivity.
It isn’t easy.
Whether you are an influential woman or an ordinary one, it isn’t easy. It takes immense courage, strength and conviction over the years to stand and say that ‘Yes, I was wronged’. One probably waits for years for one tight hand who will hold her when she narrates those dark hours. Those trusting eyes who will say, ‘I know you are saying the truth, and go and say it to others. Name. Shame.”
Perhaps, it is once in many years that one finds a soul who doesn’t question your integrity, and accepts you as the wonder you are despite everything. It takes years to come out of that dungeon. To grapple with those menacing looks, the discomforting touches and to do away with the lewd remarks.
It takes time. Ask one who has gone through this. It takes time.
In the last one week, like most of you, I too read about Tanushree Dutta’s accusations against Nana Patekar. Various versions are afloat. For and against arguments are being dropped as if everyone was present there when it all happened. The media is doing its work, and all of it is not bad there too.
I will not get into my opinion on the same. But, I will say what I found the most cringe-worthy fact of the whole fracas. Two facts actually.
I mean, how does it matter? A woman may speak at times even after the abuser is dead. And sometimes never in her lifetime. At least she spoke. Why can’t people just sit and accept that?
…like Amitabh Bachchan. I care a hoot if you are a fan, but I will still say that I lost a lot of respect for him for such defensive stances over the years on such issues. I remember when Pink was released, he penned a letter to his granddaughter. Was it a gimmick then? I agree, when you don’t know the truth you may not want to take sides, but sidelining it with an evasive comment like the one he made, was seriously uncalled for. What does it take to be slightly sensitive and comforting to a person who has been rubbed the wrong way? Is it asking for too much?
As a society, we are still far from such sensitivity. Very far. We still need ‘proof’ when we are wronged. It doesn’t matter if even if come up with evidence. Men or women, it doesn’t matter. Evidence can be conveniently avoided or tweaked to what the listener wants. But, sadly, we fail to understand that even if a man or a woman is made to feel uncomfortable by anyone, whatsoever, that itself must be taken seriously. We don’t always need incidents of rape or molestation to raise our voices.
I wish, and I so wish, people are allowed to speak when they want to. And, are accepted. And more so, that a few stalwarts peel off their masks and stand by society and for society, for the better.
Acting can rest for a while.
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An avid reader, a blogger, a book reviewer, a freelancer writer and an aspiring author. She has an opinion about everything around. And through her writings she reaches out to the world. A mother of read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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