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“After 25 you start becoming old, and have to have everything in place before 30.” This advice had more consequences than the author could realise. And one day…
As young women we are often advised to have to have it all before hitting the tender age of 25 if not 30 at the latest. Post which we supposedly enter an ‘age of doom’. Here, I share with you a conversation that really destroyed my confidence and made age a threat.
But was it really? Read more to find out..
I hit 29 this June. Since some time now I have been feeling way too pressured about getting it all sorted and right and becoming successful. Ever since I started my business, it’s been a joy ride for me because I didn’t bother with the pressure. If I did I would quickly replace it with excitement and go on. But… since a year, (when I’d turned 28) there was a part of me – in my heart and soul that really felt miserable; I could never understand the reason for it.
Still… I kept going, and doing my work, till I remembered a conversation I had had with someone years ago.
I had felt really withered after I heard someone say that a woman, after turning 25, enters into ‘the old age’. I had no idea why the heck would anyone become ‘old’ post 25, but it sounded a bit scary to me, because I was 24 when I was given this explanation.
“So, the age for a woman to bloom and grow and righteously live dies down after she hits 25! She literally becomes “OLD!”
Confused I asked – “Professionally? – Financially? – Socially?”
“No, just in general she enters an expiration phase, and 30 is the age by when she should have it all. Physically, emotionally, financially, professionally… Meaning she should be married, have kids, be successful at work, have this blissful and perfect life!”
I was shocked. I guess I was also a bit… no, a lot heartbroken.
“WHAT!?” I yelped.
What the hell does that even mean? Do we stop existing after we turn 30? Do we become invisible? And how does anyone have it all before turning 30! Even if they do, do they not evolve and grow later in life?
Of course, no one answered these questions for me and I, with my broken heart, forgot about it as time passed, till I turned 29!
As each day passed I could hear clocks ticking, a wedding here, a promotion there, baby showers here and celebrations everywhere. And Me? I had just figured out what my calling was. I was moving up the ladder but slowly and I was distraught. I could see time staring at me, laughing at me, and I kept blaming myself for starting out so late in my life…
“Ugh! You idiot woman!”
But naturally, I couldn’t find a solution to this bizarre feeling in my life. With so much pressure on my body and my mind, I fell ill and started wondering how the hell did I reach to this stage. I was happy and enjoying my work before this, which now felt like pressure and there was this shadowy, ghostly deadline to get to.
‘Wait a sec! What deadline? Who decided this deadline for me?’
As if enlightened I sat upright and recalled ‘the OLD age’ conversation.
Funny right? A simple, unnecessary conversation like that ruined months of my happiness, my health and my time (See the irony here).
Subsequently the lesson I learnt was that time is not a bomb. Time walks the walk with you. It doesn’t matter whether you start later in life or earlier, your success is not dependent on when you started and how long you stayed, but the way you utilize the time, a lot or less, the way you make use of your talents, knowledge and wisdom. Starting out early does not guarantee 100% success nor does starting out later define 100% doom.
The biggest take away for you from this little story of mine is to start wherever you are, don’t wait for the best time and don’t cry over lost time. Sure, it is scary and exhausting and uncertain, but that’s how it is suppose to be. Try replacing it with fun, energetic and exciting, and see how life and time transform and start to ‘work with you’.
Published here earlier.
Image source: unsplash
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A Psychologist, Blogger, Entrepreneur, bibliophile, stationary buff. Love writing, poetry, coffee, An introvert and dreamer.
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