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Friendships, relationships, cannot survive unless we make the effort to 'be there' for them in all their ups and downs. Communicating on social media is just not good enough.
Friendships, relationships, cannot survive unless we make the effort to ‘be there’ for them in all their ups and downs. Communicating on social media is just not good enough.
Living in an ever evolving technological era and with abundant tools for communication available to everyone – like Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Skype, Viber, Gtalk, and what not; I still stand here losing my close friend because of “no real communication”.
When we met at work 11 years ago, we clicked like a house on fire. We were very different in many aspects, quite the opposite of each other, and yet, we had such compatibility that we could walk into each other’s house at any time of day, and bare our hearts to each other. Talk from dawn to dusk. In fact, we married around the same time, and had our babies around the same time too. We always had so many things to talk about, and never got bored of each other’s company.
She was the more expressive one between the two of us. She used to get mad at me, if I didn’t call up to wish her on her birthday. We had spent many moments on planning how we would watch our kids grow up together, and be there for each other.
In the next few years, she got busy climbing the corporate ladder and I, with my second child. The regular phone calls dwindled to almost one or two calls in a year. Distance started to creep in. We both had an active online life, and we would occasionally agree or disagree to issues that we felt strongly about.
With no real communication and mounting disagreements, misunderstandings started to creep in. It’s not that they didn’t stand a chance to be cleared, but there were no efforts made to communicate or stay in touch. While I completely understand her view from where she stands, I couldn’t stop feeling neglected. I would wake up to see her story updates, the travel diaries, and the good times she’s having with new connections, along with many complaints about how she had to fake the smile many a times too… never once having enough time for a 5-minute call or a face-to-face meet once a year with me.
I have never been great in making friends, and even bad in faking one. There was no more depth left in our friendship. No more meaning and understanding to rely on. I could no longer make out, if I am one among the people, whom she was faking a smile with? Or was our friendship all along superficial. With futile attempts at trying to meet face-to-face to catching up over phone for some real conversations, I stopped whining for her attention and time.
I am in a less emotionally vulnerable place now, for I have made my peace. I miss her and will continue to miss her, for not many people have touched my life the way a few handful have done, and she is one of them. However, I doubt if she could ever understand where I am coming from, or have the time to understand my point. I don’t want an ‘online’ friend, but a real friend with real emotions.
We all may feel that we are so well-connected with families, friends, and at times, even with our better half and children through the communication channels available to us. However, the same may lead to resentment, if there are no real emotions behind it.
Once in a while, it is better to go back to our old school ways of visiting our relatives’ place, instead of good morning and good night forward messages. Instead of emoticons; hugging and kissing loved ones in real is any day better. Encouragements need not just be left behind with a ‘Like’, but one could convey them in words or face to face, truly encouraging the recipient. Sharing good times through photos and blogs is great, but sharing the vulnerable self with our loved ones should also be a norm, which would be beneficial for both the parties involved.
At the end of the day, our heart still aches when a friendship ends. Loneliness still creeps in, even with a 1000 people on our FB friend list. Misunderstandings take over when one communicates only through online channels over a long period of time. Unfortunately for human emotions, there isn’t any ‘online’ solution.
I sincerely hope that we all make more efforts to keep our loved ones close to us, not just online, but also in reality, for there is no replacement technology for feeling “important” and “being loved”.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pexels
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
Recent footage of her coming out of an airport had comments preaching karma and its cruel ways, that Samantha "deserved her illness" because she filed for divorce.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu fell from being the public’s sweetheart to a villain overnight because she filed for divorce. The actress was struck with myositis post divorce, much to the joy of certain groups (read sexist) in our society.
A troll responded to Samantha’s tweet, “Women Rising!!” by adding to it “just to fall”. She replied, “Getting back up makes it all the more sweeter, my friend.”
Here’s another insensitive tweet by BuzZ Basket showing fake concern for her autoimmune disease. “Feeling sad for Samantha, she lost all her charm and glow. When everyone thought she came out of divorce strongly and her professional life was seeing heights, myositis hit her badly, making her weak again.” Samantha responded, “I pray you never have to go through months of treatment and medication like I did. And here’s some love from me to add to your glow.”
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