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Do you grapple with feelings of self-doubt? This poem will appeal to you.
I am tired of the feeling that meekly presents itself every now and then.
In the silence of the night, it whispers, you are not good enough.
I brush it off as a silly thought many times, but it just stays to play hide and seek,
In my most vulnerable times, it finds its voice to make its point.
The entire world that I had created around me suddenly appears to be a mere attempt
To keep me safe from feeling mediocre.
The deeper I bury my failures, the taller I build the walls of reasoning
The dreams don’t present themselves anymore, for I have long forgotten to recognize them.
Years I have spent cementing the layers of pretentious success, that I couldn’t care less.
And tired of tirelessly pleasing the people around me…
For what is left, seems like I have been living a lie the entire time
And there is no way I could connect anymore to myself
I must be gifted right? Everyone is.
but i never trusted mine to be any good.
I went on to play their game, I won some, I lost some,
but in this maddening race called life, I forgot how to love my own uniqueness.
Not a desire, not a dream, not a single wish I would want to scream,
maybe that’s why, its coming back to haunt me,
In the shallowness of life lived, to say, I am not good enough,
To provoke me, to knock some sense into me,
For I ain’t a bad player. I just chose the wrong race.
In fact life never was a race that I believed it to be.
Maybe its too late already, Maybe I could never make It alright
May be I will continue to live a life without knowing how to love myself
But I make a sincere promise, to the voice that tells me I am no good,
I will not be mocked, I will not bow down, and I will never ever give up on my dreams like I have always done.
Try me, try me one last time, this time may be with some love?
First published here.
Image via Pexels
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For now, lets just say, a woman who wants to speak her mind.
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