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Do you grapple with feelings of self-doubt? This poem will appeal to you.
I am tired of the feeling that meekly presents itself every now and then.
In the silence of the night, it whispers, you are not good enough.
I brush it off as a silly thought many times, but it just stays to play hide and seek,
In my most vulnerable times, it finds its voice to make its point.
The entire world that I had created around me suddenly appears to be a mere attempt
To keep me safe from feeling mediocre.
The deeper I bury my failures, the taller I build the walls of reasoning
The dreams don’t present themselves anymore, for I have long forgotten to recognize them.
Years I have spent cementing the layers of pretentious success, that I couldn’t care less.
And tired of tirelessly pleasing the people around me…
For what is left, seems like I have been living a lie the entire time
And there is no way I could connect anymore to myself
I must be gifted right? Everyone is.
but i never trusted mine to be any good.
I went on to play their game, I won some, I lost some,
but in this maddening race called life, I forgot how to love my own uniqueness.
Not a desire, not a dream, not a single wish I would want to scream,
maybe that’s why, its coming back to haunt me,
In the shallowness of life lived, to say, I am not good enough,
To provoke me, to knock some sense into me,
For I ain’t a bad player. I just chose the wrong race.
In fact life never was a race that I believed it to be.
Maybe its too late already, Maybe I could never make It alright
May be I will continue to live a life without knowing how to love myself
But I make a sincere promise, to the voice that tells me I am no good,
I will not be mocked, I will not bow down, and I will never ever give up on my dreams like I have always done.
Try me, try me one last time, this time may be with some love?
First published here.
Image via Pexels
For now, lets just say, a woman who wants to speak her mind. read more...
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
When Jaya Bachchan speaks her mind in public she is often accused of being brusque and even abrasive. Can we think of her prodigious talent and all the bitter pills she has had to swallow over the years?
A couple of days ago, a short clip of a 1998 interview of Jaya and Amitabh Bachchan resurfaced on social media. In this episode of the Simi Grewal chat show, at about the 23-minute mark, Jaya lists her husband’s priorities: one, parents, two kids, then wife. Then she corrects herself: his profession – and perhaps someone else – ranks above her as a wife.
Amitabh looks visibly uncomfortable at this unstated but unambiguous reference to his rather well-publicised affair with co-star Rekha back in the day.
Watching the classic film Abhimaan some years ago, one scene really stayed with me. It was something Brajeshwarlal (David’s character) says in troubled tones during the song tere mere milan ki yeh raina. He says something to the effect that Uma (Jaya Bhaduri’s character) is more talented than Subir (Amitabh Bachchan’s character) and that this was a problem since society teaches us that men are superior to women.
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