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"You do not have to aspire to become the perfect woman that society expects you to be," says a mom to her young daughter on #InternationalGirlChildDay.
“You do not have to aspire to become the perfect woman that society expects you to be,” says a mom to her young daughter on #InternationalGirlChildDay.
Dear Daughter,
Yesterday was International Girl Child Day and this day always evokes myriad of emotions within me. As you grow, you will comprehend the significance of this day in the world that we dwell in but this letter is not just about this one day. This note is, in fact, going to be an aide memoire for me and if I ever try to enforce my beliefs and opinions on you, this will hopefully serve as a reminder for me to back off and let you be.
I endeavour everyday to raise you as a sensitive and strong girl, but achieving this in a patriarchal society is no child’s play. While on one side I will always strive to encourage you to be yourself and stand up for your values, there will be a counterbalancing effect from a section of the society which will threaten to bog you down and crush your fiery spirit. At times, you might struggle to decide what you want to do; you might find it overbearing to fight loved ones and in a bid to want to fit in and be accepted, you may end up losing a bit of yourself.
During such times, trust me to bare your soul to me. I promise to never judge you for the way you feel or think. Believe me when I tell you that no one else would understand your mental tussle more than me. I have spent a good few years of my life pretending to be someone I am not as I thought a woman is supposed to be the epitome of sacrifice. And come to think of it, I was never even fed these thoughts by my parents. This is what social conditioning can do to us.
In the coming years, you will meet all kinds of people. Some will become friends and some will become lessons. But, don’t allow anyone to make you a target of their insolence irrespective of the value they hold in your life. Don’t ever let anyone else sit in the driver’s seat and tell you what you should do or not do, what you should be or not be. This is your journey and yours alone. Take charge and embrace yourself. Love your strengths and your imperfections. The notion of “a perfect woman” is as real as your favourite cartoon character. It is just someone’s figment of imagination!
While there will be some folks who will put you on a pedestal, there will also be those who will try to fetter you in the cuffs of stereotypes. Don’t get influenced by either and look within always. Your essence is your force and it is what defines YOU. You don’t need to change that to please anyone, not even me.
Live, laugh, love, learn! Own your decisions and take responsibility. You will falter, you will rise and you will evolve. Be mindful of others and respect differences. And always remember that you are only answerable to your conscience.
Love,
Mom
Image source: pixabay
Multiple award winning blogger, influencer, author, multi-faceted entrepreneur, creative writing mentor, choreographer, social activist and a wanderer at heart read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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