Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
A gorgeous daughter was born to us 3 years ago, and this is my pregnancy story. A story of growing as a mother through the pregnancy.
November 15, 2013: It all started with a pink line. We had just arrived from my younger sister’s wedding and the test kit announced that it was time for another celebration to come home. There were no water works involved with the news; we acted pretty normal towards it and thought of confirming before announcing to the families. So after the short visit to the clinic, a tiny dot on the screen made us call our parents. They were thrilled and asked us to be quiet about the subject – “Beta abhi kisi se kuch mat kehna” – a line, which we heard repeatedly over the next few months.
We were yet to begin the phase of enjoying the new development, which made me realize that it would not be that easy. I suffered from severe nausea beginning the end of November and lasting three months. I couldn’t stand food, the smell of it, the sight of it; even the Dominos advertisement on television made me switch channels. Those three months were so appalling; I wish I had words to describe the ordeal. My mother along with my sister (who came down to Hyderabad to take care of me) along with tablets to curb nausea was my only rescue. Taking folic acid and waiting at the doctor’s clinic became a routine and looking pale with dull eyes a fashion. Handling office work with frequent rushing to the restrooms wasn’t easy, but something in me, rather someone in me, kept me on my toes and running.
By the start of the second trimester, I was able to keep food inside without the help of any medicine. The respite was soon over as with February came pollen grains in the air and the dust allergic me got paranoid and affected to the hilt. Every year my homoeopathic drops make me sail through this period with ease, but pregnancy comes with its own sweet list of do’s and don’ts. Doctors will recommend antibiotics and anti-allergy as well, but the mother in me could not afford the risk and had to undergo almost 1.5 months of severe cold and cough. My in-laws visited us during that period and their homemade mutton soup did help hold my watery nose and their minced meat kebabs relished my tasteless palate.
With March came the first big scan and we saw the baby kicks in action which till that time were only felt by me. I expected to bawl like a baby, or at least have a lump in my throat, but all I could think looking at her/him was – “baby, you are making mommy work real hard, why do you hate her so much?”
In the first week of April, I took a break and travelled to Calcutta for a week to see my parents. I loved each second of the trip as finally I was away from office and routine life. I had missed travelling and finally got a chance to make it. During the entire trip I fed myself white rasgullas and mishti dohi, slept and shopped. Being home in itself is the best thing one can gift oneself – be pampered and spoilt.
Ninth month came with its peak effects. I gained 10 kgs (started at 47 at month one and reached 57 by month nine), my feet were swallow and getting up from bed became a challenge. I felt baby move all the time. It was funny when I saw my kurta move at work, as Junior moved in me. At that stage, birthing claimed to be the toughest part, but then, I did not exert myself thinking what will happen. I stuck to the plan of taking it as it comes.
I went to work till July 09th, and later that night, I was taken to the hospital and delivered my girl the next morning. I remember texting my manager from the hospital bed after delivering Mysha – “Delivered a baby girl. Maternity leave starts now.”
My only strategy throughout pregnancy was to keep myself busy at work and home and not let myself think and panic about the future. People of this generation have a habit of reading excessively and not all that we read is encouraging. I have been through that. Also, we hear so much from our family, friends and relatives about ‘what to do and how to do it’ that you need to filter and execute. The idea is to free your mind and enjoy the temporary solace before your world turns upside down.
My better half was really supportive throughout the process. From packing my several protein diet tiffins for work to becoming my chauffeur, from motivating me when I got low to performing five namaz a day for his unborn child, he did every possible chore of a responsible husband and a caring father. Whenever I doubted myself as parent, I just look at my better half and it reassures my faith in us. Our marriage was not easy, and we knew parenting a child whose parents come from different backgrounds/belief systems would be tougher. Yet, we were ready to embark a beautiful journey called parenthood. No one is ever prepared for it, but someone somewhere gives you the source of energy and persistence to walk on.
Pregnancy was a new expedition, and it was tough but then raising a child took my breath away. Questions surround you – How to handle a kid, how to be a responsible parent, how to see the world from your child’s eye? But by the end, motherhood awaits you and it sure is a thrill to explore how the biggest role created by God, for a human, tastes like.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
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I did my MBA in finance and was part of the corporate world of market
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