Anupama writes a letter to her 18-year old daughter. Read what she has to say.
Many of us grew up with Simran from DDLJ as a role model for girls? Read this and you won’t think so any more…
No matter how much we appreciate Hollywood flicks for their concept and stories; there’ll still be a part of us that’ll adore the clichéd cheesy Bollywood rom-coms.
Each one of us, at some point of time, has desired to live the life of a Bollywood heroine. Most of all Simran, the leading lady of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, the torchbearer of the league of timeless romantic love stories ever made. But it’s time to pull you out of fantasy and wake some senses. All that you crave for is outright foolish and unacceptable for any woman. Don’t believe me?? Have a look…
It is Simran’s indecisiveness that happens to be the focal point around which the whole movie revolves! How difficult is it to make up your mind for once, to go with your choice of a life partner or let your parents find one! Throughout 192 minutes of the movie runtime, we are made to imagine how poor a soul Simran is; torn between the longing for her beloved Raj and her duties towards her Bauji. A total No-No for today’s girls.
Is it really as complicated as Bollywood portrays is? No, it isn’t. Why not simply gather everyone over a cup of coffee and confront them? Who knows things may fall in place like you want…after all, a lot can happen over a coffee!
Its rather hard to believe how someone can ever be as docile and timid as our dear Simran is. I have grown up watching clichéd Bollywood movies, and it’s become tiring to see how they make the female lead always appear to be so fragile! Ji bauji…Haanji bauji…apki jaisi marzi bauji…muje jane dijiye bauji…STOP!
Women have their own opinions, their own voices. They are free to have to have their own desires and wishes without anybody else’s approval. Had Simran stood up for herself, voicing her love, she would have empowered a 100 more like her; being the true ‘heroine’ we would have loved to look up to.
Bollywood’s trump card….isn’t it? What could be more heart wrenching? A cute little girl next door, obedient, confused yet highly cultured. Never hurts anyone but lands up in a mess always. Enters a handsome hunk…funny, funky. Rowdy at first but caring, warm and devoted at heart. Her knight in shining armour, probably born just to help her.
Is it imperative for women to depend on their partners for rowing out of every obstacle? Are we not competent enough to find a solution to our own struggles?
When Simran knew she was to get married to a guy from India soon after returning from Europe, couldn’t she just refuse if she were already in love with Raj rather than falsely agreeing for the wedding and plotting to elope with him later, saving her family the disgrace!
In times when girls as young as 3-4 years old fight for their ‘birthday dresses’, doesn’t all this seem foolish?
Mere Khwabo me jo aaye….use kaho kabhi saamne to aaye….! Really?
Nooo! The crazy rain dance number of the 90’s; every girl must have swooned to this at least once but later must have realized how much of a dimwit she was. Honestly, all my childhood I grew up believing this is how love blossoms. Writing secret personal diaries, portraying a good looking, adorable prince charming riding a white horse; falling in love with me right at the first sight. Sounds just perfect, doesn’t it?
No, unfortunately not. Life isn’t some fairy tale where you are just meant to be with the one you love. It’s about meeting some, losing some, struggling, hardships, overcoming them together and eventually finding your Mr. Right in the most ordinary way.
Wish Simran had the sensibility to understand the same.
You meet someone on a trip and fall into an argument in the first moment. The guy tries to intrude your space, cracks lame jokes about your innerwear and physical appearance, you indulge into a tussle to pull each other down and then one fine morning you realize Oh No! He is the one for you. Your one true soul mate you had been dreaming all your life. Wow! Exciting and fascinating?
Absurd it is! How can someone fall in love with such a guy? Any sensible girl would have slapped him hard to never look at his face again. Everybody has some personal space which shouldn’t be breached. Women value their self esteem and expect the same from their partners. But unfortunately a concept beyond Simran’s senses.
The need of the hour is to find the man who complements his lady, socially, mentally and financially. To share a life with someone is about sharing thoughts, habits, backgrounds and life goals.
This in no way holds true for our lead couple. On one hand where Simran belongs to this highly ‘cultured’, orthodox and conservative family while on the other we discover Raj born and brought up in a pretty cool, relaxed and carefree environment.
Though in such relationships fly sparks at once, they do not last long. Millennial women are mature enough to weigh the pros and cons of their relationship.
Though Simran’s agenda for going on the trip was to explore her new found freedom, deep down she was desperate to live her fantasy of finding the man of her dreams….“kya pata woh mujhe is trip par hi mil jaye”. She loses herself in this search so much that she almost becomes impervious to things around her.
It hardly occurs to her to what family Raj belongs to, what does he do, does he even has an earning? Moreover she even forgets the promise she makes to bauji as a condition for his consent for the trip.
Often we go out drinking with our friends and sometimes can get really drunk. But that definitely doesn’t mean we lose our sense of thinking. We would still know what we are capable of doing and what not when in an inebriated condition. However poor Simran was ready to believe that she slept with Raj when he tries to persuade her to believe that. “kaho na Raj… aisa nahi ho sakta”. Why can’t girls be portrayed with more maturity and sense?
Every day in our lives we come across women who are constantly fighting circumstances they don’t want to be in. They make choices which are appropriate and required even against their will if they have vouched for it, but adamant Simran is hell bent on breaking her ‘karva chauth’ by Raj’s hands. First she forced Raj to make friends with Kuljeet and then she created a lot of drama just to fulfil her wish.
Wish she had a more practical approach to make lives easier!
For someone who was bred in London, whose father had strong values, whose sister was exceptionally good in academics and who was crowned as the ideal daughter, Simran was rather aimless, lacked vision in life and had no plans whatsoever for her career. All she could do was to dream about her prince charming. This is quite contradictory to notion of a strong independent woman.
So now you get it, how you were fooled all your life? Never mind, Bollywood does have that effect many times, but it’s time to wake up now!
Image source: YouTube
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