Say NO To Pampering The Adult Babies In Your Life. What Are These? Read On

Posted: June 25, 2017

Tags:gender roles patriarchy stereotypes

Adult babies. What are they, you say? Oh, just the husband and/or in laws who expect you to wait on them just because you are married into their family!

Almost all women in this country can relate to this and all men are going to hate this. But ninety out of hundred woman who get married in this country find themselves in this situation where they discover they have in fact adopted an adult baby in the face of marriage.

I faced the exact situation when I got married. It was a huge disappointment for me. But gradually I realised that almost all families have at least one adult baby. In most cases it is the son (husband Of the girl) whereas in some other extreme cases the in laws too behave like babies. In that case the poor newly married girl finds herself in the middle of mothering a family of adult babies. The biggest reason of depression in women working at home (I prefer to be addressed as WWH than SAHM).

How to recognise an adult baby?

They are usually selfish. Meaning, they expect to be treated like kings when they enter the house premise. It doesn’t matter if you, the wife too have worked equally hard the entire day.
They usually call you for little things like a glass of water. Even a two year old can get his water and drink.
They choose to lounge all evening even if they see you work like a maniac. Offering help is not served on the table is beyond their comprehension.
They literally expect you to pamper them like their own mother. They keep comparing you with their mother and let you down as well.
They don’t know the basic survival skills like making a decent meal, making their own bed, laundry etcetera.

Set your boundaries, NOW

Giving in to their demands not only saps the life out of you but also makes them more dependant. So dear woman, it is time to redefine your duties as wife and daughter in law.

Your duty is to make sure your family is well fed. It is not your duty to make the meals, bring it to the table, wait the table and clean afterwards. For every one. Even if you are sick.

It is your duty to keep the house clean. It is not your duty to pick up after every one.

It is your duty to take care of everyone. It is also their duty to take care of you. And the most important thing is it is also your duty to take care of You.

Teach by example

Teach your kids to participate in household chores. Teach them to make their own bed. Let them pack their school bags. Teach them how to tie their shoe laces, don’t do things for them. Don’t advise them unless they ask for. Let them fall and get get back on their feet.

And as per the already grown up babies, start small. Stop picking up after them. Be firm. It’s not about fighting but do not give in.

Sharing the load should be the new anthem of every family. Lead by example.

Image source: shutterstock

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Satarupa Mishra

Satarupa Mishra homemaker and mother of a lovely baby boy formerly worked as a researcher

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1 Comment

Rajani - October 4, 2017 at 9:32 am

You are bang on! The expectations to wait upon them, really sucks. I refuse to wait upon them so I am categorised as ” Not willing to do seva”, ” Sughad nai hai” ” Aalsi hai” etc etc.

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