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Adult babies. What are they, you say? Oh, just the husband and/or in laws who expect you to wait on them just because you are married into their family!
Almost all women in this country can relate to this and all men are going to hate this. But ninety out of hundred woman who get married in this country find themselves in this situation where they discover they have in fact adopted an adult baby in the face of marriage.
I faced the exact situation when I got married. It was a huge disappointment for me. But gradually I realised that almost all families have at least one adult baby. In most cases it is the son (husband Of the girl) whereas in some other extreme cases the in laws too behave like babies. In that case the poor newly married girl finds herself in the middle of mothering a family of adult babies. The biggest reason of depression in women working at home (I prefer to be addressed as WWH than SAHM).
Giving in to their demands not only saps the life out of you but also makes them more dependant. So dear woman, it is time to redefine your duties as wife and daughter in law.
Your duty is to make sure your family is well fed. It is not your duty to make the meals, bring it to the table, wait the table and clean afterwards. For every one. Even if you are sick.
It is your duty to keep the house clean. It is not your duty to pick up after every one.
It is your duty to take care of everyone. It is also their duty to take care of you. And the most important thing is it is also your duty to take care of You.
Teach your kids to participate in household chores. Teach them to make their own bed. Let them pack their school bags. Teach them how to tie their shoe laces, don’t do things for them. Don’t advise them unless they ask for. Let them fall and get get back on their feet.
And as per the already grown up babies, start small. Stop picking up after them. Be firm. It’s not about fighting but do not give in.
Sharing the load should be the new anthem of every family. Lead by example.
Image source: shutterstock
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
At one point, she confesses to her mother that the beatings are no longer physical, they have started affecting her mentally as well, and she wants to break free of this cycle of abuse.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.
I recently watched Darlings on Netflix. It’s a quirky, dark satire featuring the dynamite duo of Alia Bhatt and Shefali Shah. The movie depicts domestic violence and the psychology of abuse.
Even though the subject matter is dark, there are light moments and humour, which make it immensely watchable. It stands out for its powerhouse performances and unique storyline.