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Society loves calling women by the relationship they have to someone, as many would not have an identity outside home. "But I have a name. Use it."
Society loves calling women by the relationship they have to someone, as many would not have an identity outside home. “But I have a name. Use it.”
My toddler loves walking, dancing and chasing the wind as soon the doors creaks open. Now an evening walk is an obligatory addition into our time-table. How much ever tiring the day is, his one electric smile and we are ready to rock and roll. And strolling with a kid gave me a likelihood to socialize which I missed till the date. I particularly learned to listen to happenings happening around, in straight words, gossip.
This park nearby our house has two permanent visitors. These two ladies always sit side by side on a bench, chatting endlessly or walking synchronously. It is a serendipity to watch their affection and warmth for my child. Slowly I developed an underlying admiration for them. We started exchanging smiles and my son as usual waved them off. We became friends in no time and my kid strengthened the bond with his hurly burlies.
Sun is getting hotter everyday. I avoided talking him out on such days and especially when the sun rays burns like fire. After a couple of days, the heat was serene and that such evening we went to the park late than the usual. After taking a round we settled on a bench. One of the two aunties held out a helping hand to accompany my son for a walk. My kid too went with them with sheer joy and waved me off with a sparkling smile. The entire garden was in unhidden vicinity, so I sat back and enjoyed watching them play round the park. While leaving, I turned back to ask their names. “Call us aunty”. I insisted more.
The hesitant voices exchanged a look and almost mumbled. We all waved bye to each other. I yelled and waved, “Bye Sudha aunty, bye Nina aunty.”
Bye beta.
“After a long time someone called us by our name, no Sudha?” They were smiling, generous and content.
We in the society are so used to call women in regard with the relationship that we almost forgot what the individual’s name is. Nishu’s mother, Shyam’s wife, Nitin’s sister, Yash’s granny, Ashu’s sister in law and many others. Our parents named us when we were born, so let us stop objectifying ourselves. And that is why the names are for, to apprehend the individuality.
So next time, please call me by my name.
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
A space tech lover, engineer, researcher, an advocate of equal rights, homemaker, mother, blogger, writer and an avid reader. I write to acknowledge my feelings. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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