A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
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When I enjoyed feminine pursuits, I was told I was being too girly to be a feminist despite being an independent woman who had set up house by myself!
Have you ever wondered how everyone has an opinion on everything? And in today’s world where information about people and places is so easily accessible, it is little wonder that this phenomenon is snowballing.
Sharing a large part of our lives on social media is almost an open invitation for others to have an opinion. An opinion on the kind of clothes we wear, the people we hang out with, the places we visit, and the kind of experiences we choose to have. And some opinions might just be overstepping the borderline that treads into judgements. It simply baffles me how some people pass judgements without even realizing how baseless they are. Allow me to share a personal story to dwell on this just a little further.
I took up a new job and moved to a new city, into a new home I’m slowly warming up to. With the new-found freedom, I set about discovering myself. I never considered myself to be artistic. But I challenged myself to genuinely give it a shot. And in no time I was out there shopping for satin ribbons and colour papers. After a week of hard work, I’d completed my first DIY art project. It was a piece of wall-art that had a bunch of hearts in orange and red strung together.
Perhaps for the first time in my life, I got curious about make-up. I went shopping for make-up products, began trying them on. I watched countless tutorials on how to contour my face, how to perfect the art of a winged liner and how to apply eye-shadow like a pro.
When I met a friend for coffee one evening, she obviously noticed the changes in me. I was suddenly wearing make-up and sharing photos of a wall-art of hearts I had made from scratch. Her response stunned me to silence. She asked me, “don’t you think you’ve become too girly for a feminist?”
When did femininity and feminism become mutually exclusive? Why should a feminist stop embracing her femininity? Because somehow when I’m doing my make-up or cutting our hearts from coloured paper, I fail to be the strong, independent woman I am. It doesn’t matter that I moved out of my parents’ home, running a household for the first time, getting the bathroom or the windows fixed by myself, working passionately at my job, and paying my bills. It doesn’t matter that I have a new hobby of my own, adding a new dimension to my personality.
Let’s clarify this once and for all. Feminism is not about giving up on your femininity. Feminism is not about women trying to compete with men by being less like women and more like men. It’s simply giving women the freedom to discover themselves, be themselves, and to make decisions for themselves.
So here’s a humble request – the next time you go about judging people based on misconstrued ideas of labels floating around, DON’T!
Image source: shutterstock
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Having discovered my passion for the written word, writing became my constant love affair. I
Feminism and feminity are not mutually exclusive. Good insight.
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