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Gaining weight has always been considered a problem for women in a society that stereotypes them, but I've found that it is good for me in so many ways!
Gaining weight has always been considered a problem for women in a society that stereotypes them, but I’ve found that it is good for me in so many ways!
Weight has always been ‘the monster term’ for me.
When I was a kid, I was underweight and was continuously advised by everyone to eat properly. And I tried too, thinking that if it doesn’t happen now, it can never happen at all. Short and frail, I could go easily missing in a group. College was even more hopeless, I lost more weight.
It is when I got my first job that I slowly started gaining weight. And today, after 5 years, I am considered fat.
I reminded a few who pointed it out, that I am following the advice they gave me during my childhood and their smile quickly faded. I have been struggling to cross 45 kgs since very long time and now I have. The protruding collarbone that was pointed out by the neighbours, has now been covered amply. Though that is not the healthy weight for my age, it is quite correct for my height. And now, people are advising me to lose weight! And why? Because it is now my ‘marriageable age’ and hence I should look slender (read as beautiful).
I was shell-shocked when a cousin younger to me commented that was I bloating out, looking pityingly at my imaginary future husband in the air. I simply answered that I am the one that in future may carry a baby, not the hubby.
My weight has been everyone else’s business. As a kid, my diary looked very similar to ‘The Diary of a Young Girl’ by Anne Frank and after so many years now, my thoughts too reflect the same. There is constant bombardment about how to lose those beloved kilos over 45.
It took me an extreme effort to not lose my senses, in the least. Eventually, I developed the ‘don’t care’ attitude.
And so, to all the family members who worry about my weight and to all the ladies who are forced to regret it, here is my take on weight gain. There are ‘n’ number of things that these extra few kilos have given me:
Those extra kilos have given me an unimaginable amount of stamina. I don’t think these all would be possible if had bothered about anyone who counts my calories or took a look at the big morsel in my hand.
I am just a normal human being who is very proud to be capable of doing now, what I couldn’t do a few years ago. Today, I feel if there was no one around to remind me often that I am imperfect, I could have achieved all those things long ago and I would have been a lot more optimistic and a tad less of a badass.
Image source: pixabay
I am an egalitarian and strive to see it around me as much as possible. I am an avid reader, a passionate writer and an ardent fan of English language. I like to observe things read more...
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If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Most of my women clients are caregivers—as mothers, wives and daughters. And so, they tend to feel guilty about their ambitions. Belief in themselves is hard to come by.
* All names mentioned in the article have been changed to respect client confidentiality.
“I don’t want to take a pay cut and accept the offer, but everyone around me is advising me to take up what comes my way,” Tanya* told me over the phone while I was returning home from the New Delhi World Book Fair. “Should I take it up?” She summed up her dilemma and paused.
I have been coaching Tanya for the past three months. She wants to change her industry, and we have been working together on a career transition roadmap.
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