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TV serials watched by women, especially by mothers in law, might be the reason for all the drama in their relationships with their daughters in law!
Television has become an important part in a lot of houses today. It is hardly ever switched off, as some member of the family constantly keeps glued to it.
In a lot of houses, the mothers/mothers-in-law are the ones who watch a lot of these saas bahu serials constantly. They keep track of episode times and ensure they do not miss even a second of their favorite shows. The mostly unemployed, narrow-minded and traditional mothers-in-law have the TV as the only source of entertainment.
I mentioned the words unemployed and narrow-minded for a reason. Let me explain.
Unemployed (currently) because they were previously employed as a housewife (a profession I truly respect and admire – it is a very difficult job for sure) but with the employment of household staff (or the daughter in law) for each of their previous chores, they are now unemployed.
Narrow-minded because although they do not have much work, they refuse to step out, experience life and learn new things. They do not socialize much and find excuses to stay at home and just gossip over the telephone and watch the television.
Coming back to the television, the serials they see is their window to the outside world. For some reason they feel families and life outside their home is like that of the characters in the serials. They start comparing and expecting similar perfections and imperfections in their families. Unfortunately these serials show negativity, mind games, lack of trust, and miscommunication as the key emotions for all their plots.
When their son gets married they expect their daughter-in-law to be as subservient as the character they adore. They expect her to be perfect in every household chore and to make solving family problems her only aim in life. They feel talking about the ‘bahu’ behind her back is their birth right. Finding faults in everything she does and taunting her all day is one major aspect of their relationship with their bahus.
In the serials they show the mother-in-law as the major villain, the head of the family. Someone all the staff is scared of, who can shout at anyone and use her tears to her advantage in front of her husband and her son. Unfortunately our mother-in-laws have learnt that well! It is surprising to me how they change colors in front of their son so quickly. They talk to the staff about other family members and use them to get information on them. Seriously it is very creepy!
What they do not understand is that in actual life their are no mysteries to solve within the family. Their daughter in law is not conspiring against them, and there are no villains that will suddenly show up from the past. They need to stop feeling so insecure. No one is stealing their son or manipulating him against his parents.
Please understand your ‘bahu’ loves your son, and wants to love you as family too. Please let her find a family in you and not let her find a character straight from some stupid serial. Watch serials if you have to, but please do not think of them as your life.
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The plight of Indian women's mental health often goes unnoticed. Co-founders Vivek Satya Mitram and Pooja Priyamvada conceived the idea of the Bharat Dialogues Women & Mental Health Summit to address this.
Trigger Warning: This contains descriptions of mental health trauma and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
Author’s note: The language and phraseology used are not the author’s words but the terms and narrative popularly used for people living with mental illnesses, and may feel non-inclusive. It is merely for putting our point across better.
I have seen how horrifying was the treatment given to those with mental illness.
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*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
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