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Trying to fit in with circumstances is often important for social harmony, but sometimes it is also important to not compromise. Life will be good.
For something to not fit right or not feel right at some time or another is pretty much a part and parcel of life. For everything there is usually just one perfect fit; to make do with anything else is usually a compromise. Every piece of a puzzle has only one place to go; anywhere else is just breaking the harmony of a perfect picture.
However to find our perfect fit, is usually a painstaking, and for some of us a long journey. And till we find our niche, either we mould ourselves to our default environment and probably live all our lives that way, or sulk and live as a misfit!
My memory fails me on the pre-school years of my life, but the tons of pictures my dad had taken did potray me as a smiling,laughing, confident kid. However as I grew older, I gradually realized I was a misfit everywhere! And hence, as a result, very easily bored!
Being a social misfit topped my list as a kid. Any kind of group put me on the backfoot. Even a group of my own class mates. Any activity which called for involvement of more than two kids made me want to run away home! Of course that was not an option, hence I was at my poorest performance in any such activity.
I was a pro at anything which looked, smelt or felt like science or maths in school. Theory, theorems and sums attracted me. But I sucked at art. Misfit once again. Art exams were a bad dream, and a report card which showed a poor total just because of a miserably drawn scenery a nightmare!
Coming from a conservative Indian setup, I was expected to get married after college and career ambitions were frowned upon. A constant fight for years together to not settle with anything which is not the perfect fit, made me a misfit once again.
Every relationship which failed gave me a lot more baggage than the few which were perfect. By and large, a constant struggle made me realize that what one can’t do is given way more weightage than what one can.
Being a regular misfit leaves one with a lesson that the key is not to be able to fit into whatever is thrown at us, but to take a journey to find what fits us. A perfect fit in all spaces; socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally.
Our social fit should be as per our need and comfort. Children or adults should not be judged on how well they suit in a group. Be it yester-years or now, school or corporate, achievers are usually those who work well with people. Certain things about our system need to change to accept individuality whole heartedly.
An ill fitting dress, however beautiful, shouldn’t make us want to change physically. We need to find dresses which look good on us!
Relationships which don’t keep us happy, need immediate uproot from our lives. Even the most perfect person in the eyes of the world around us, might not be perfect for us. And there should be no shame in that.
If the religion of our ancestors doesn’t suit us, we should be free to choose our own spiritual journey.
The niche that is ours, is going to wait for us…
Image source: the perfect fit by Shutterstock.
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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