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Trying to fit in with circumstances is often important for social harmony, but sometimes it is also important to not compromise. Life will be good.
For something to not fit right or not feel right at some time or another is pretty much a part and parcel of life. For everything there is usually just one perfect fit; to make do with anything else is usually a compromise. Every piece of a puzzle has only one place to go; anywhere else is just breaking the harmony of a perfect picture.
However to find our perfect fit, is usually a painstaking, and for some of us a long journey. And till we find our niche, either we mould ourselves to our default environment and probably live all our lives that way, or sulk and live as a misfit!
My memory fails me on the pre-school years of my life, but the tons of pictures my dad had taken did potray me as a smiling,laughing, confident kid. However as I grew older, I gradually realized I was a misfit everywhere! And hence, as a result, very easily bored!
Being a social misfit topped my list as a kid. Any kind of group put me on the backfoot. Even a group of my own class mates. Any activity which called for involvement of more than two kids made me want to run away home! Of course that was not an option, hence I was at my poorest performance in any such activity.
I was a pro at anything which looked, smelt or felt like science or maths in school. Theory, theorems and sums attracted me. But I sucked at art. Misfit once again. Art exams were a bad dream, and a report card which showed a poor total just because of a miserably drawn scenery a nightmare!
Coming from a conservative Indian setup, I was expected to get married after college and career ambitions were frowned upon. A constant fight for years together to not settle with anything which is not the perfect fit, made me a misfit once again.
Every relationship which failed gave me a lot more baggage than the few which were perfect. By and large, a constant struggle made me realize that what one can’t do is given way more weightage than what one can.
Being a regular misfit leaves one with a lesson that the key is not to be able to fit into whatever is thrown at us, but to take a journey to find what fits us. A perfect fit in all spaces; socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally.
Our social fit should be as per our need and comfort. Children or adults should not be judged on how well they suit in a group. Be it yester-years or now, school or corporate, achievers are usually those who work well with people. Certain things about our system need to change to accept individuality whole heartedly.
An ill fitting dress, however beautiful, shouldn’t make us want to change physically. We need to find dresses which look good on us!
Relationships which don’t keep us happy, need immediate uproot from our lives. Even the most perfect person in the eyes of the world around us, might not be perfect for us. And there should be no shame in that.
If the religion of our ancestors doesn’t suit us, we should be free to choose our own spiritual journey.
The niche that is ours, is going to wait for us…
Image source: the perfect fit by Shutterstock.
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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