Feel Like A Social Misfit? Maybe It Is Time To Think About What You Really Want

Posted: March 19, 2016

Trying to fit in with circumstances is often important for social harmony, but sometimes it is also important to not compromise. Life will be good.

For something to not fit right or not feel right at some time or another is pretty much a part and parcel of life. For everything there is usually just one perfect fit; to make do with anything else is usually a compromise. Every piece of a puzzle has only one place to go; anywhere else is just breaking the harmony of a perfect picture.

However to find our perfect fit, is usually a painstaking, and for some of us a long journey. And till we find our niche, either we mould ourselves to our default environment and probably live all our lives that way, or sulk and live as a misfit!

Childhood

My memory fails me on the pre-school years of my life, but the tons of pictures my dad had taken did potray me as a smiling,laughing, confident kid. However as I grew older, I gradually realized I was a misfit everywhere! And hence, as a result, very easily bored!

Being a social misfit topped my list as a kid. Any kind of group put me on the backfoot. Even a group of my own class mates. Any activity which called for involvement of more than two kids made me want to run away home! Of course that was not an option, hence I was at my poorest performance in any such activity.

I was a pro at anything which looked, smelt or felt like science or maths in school. Theory, theorems and sums attracted me. But I sucked at art. Misfit once again. Art exams were a bad dream, and a report card which showed a poor total just because of a miserably drawn scenery a nightmare!

Grown-up

Coming from a conservative Indian setup, I was expected to get married after college and career ambitions were frowned upon. A constant fight for years together to not settle with anything which is not the perfect fit, made me a misfit once again.

Every relationship which failed gave me a lot more baggage than the few which were perfect. By and large, a constant struggle made me realize that what one can’t do is given way more weightage than what one can.

So what do we do?

Being a regular misfit leaves one with a lesson that the key is not to be able to fit into whatever is thrown at us, but to take a journey to find what fits us. A perfect fit in all spaces; socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally.

Our social fit should be as per our need and comfort. Children or adults should not be judged on how well they suit in a group. Be it yester-years or now, school or corporate, achievers are usually those who work well with people. Certain things about our system need to change to accept individuality whole heartedly.

An ill fitting dress, however beautiful, shouldn’t make us want to change physically. We need to find dresses which look good on us!

Relationships which don’t keep us happy, need immediate uproot from our lives. Even the most perfect person in the eyes of the world around us, might not be perfect for us. And there should be no shame in that.

If the religion of our ancestors doesn’t suit us, we should be free to choose our own spiritual journey.

The niche that is ours, is going to wait for us…

Image source: the perfect fit by Shutterstock.

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Comments

2 Comments


  1. A misfit is in all probability someone who refuses to be one of the herd. Sometimes it can even mean that you were born to lead but it certainly doesn’t mean that you will blindly follow without exploring and experiencing your truth first hand. Trust your own heart and head to take you where you must go to feel fulfilled. Come to think of it -to be alone on a road may not be far more risky than an over crowded one huh?!

    • Yes…a misfit is someone who refuses to be or do something which his default environment compels him to…

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