Forget Those Jokes About Marriage. Marriage Can Mean Freedom Too!

Posted: December 16, 2015

Freedom is very essential in any relationship – and that includes freedom in a marriage too. Each half of a couple needs freedom to be themselves and to follow their passions. 

I found freedom after marriage as I found a partner who understands the space we need to grow and the togetherness we need to keep the relationship going. In the Indian concept at least, if you are with the right person who knows that space is also important in a marriage, then you will find freedom in the relationship.

An important Indian or Asian specialty is arranged marriage, but this, at least in the cities, is changing and it is no longer about meeting your spouse for the first time on the day of the marriage. Indian couples are evolving, dating and getting to know each other before marriage, whether opting for an arranged marriage or a love marriage.  It might take more than a few coffee dates to know if they are able to find themselves a partner whom they would like to spend the rest of their life with. Couples are allowing themselves the time.

Marriage is often equated with being tied down and being dependent, which I think, is not always true. If the right person comes along, then marriage can be all about freedom and growing together. No matter the number of memes about marriage and the jokes, people still search for that one person who is truly gets them. I have seen all sorts of couples but the couples who are happy with each other are the ones who have found their partner in crime and are not shy about being their true selves when with each other. A healthy relationship is one where people evolve and change in a relationship, without losing touch with their own identity.

Space within the marriage does not lead to lacunae as long as you have fun when you are together. There are all kinds of relationships in a marriage, since relationships are defined by the people who make up the relationship. There are those couples who call each other every day for lunch, those who text every two hours, those who dance together even though one of them has two left feet, those who love getting lost together without a map, those who thrive on PDA and those who are embarrassed by it. Love is not perfect just like the people in the relationship are not perfect. Each of them can be imperfect without each other and perfect together.

Love is more than the initial blushes and flutters, only a person who is willing to fall in love with you again and again through the ups and downs of life survive. As any older couple you know will tell you, love is true when both the partners are willing to work at the relationship together for life as life comes with many curve balls.

Any relationship where the bond is stifling will face difficulties as it then becomes more about controlling the other person than about love. Only if a person whom you are in a relationship with understands your quirks and whims, and you understand theirs can you grow in that relationship.

As Carrie Bradshaw says, “I am looking for Love. Real Love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming and can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

Image source: happy Indian couple by Shutterstock.

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