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I learnt that being a girl, or in this case, having a girl doll was a drawback in the long run, as a 'wedding' meant I lost the doll to the boy doll's owner.
I learnt that being a girl, or in this case, having a girl doll was a drawback in the long run, as a ‘wedding’ meant I lost the doll to the boy doll’s owner.
One day a girl I vaguely knew came to me with a proposal for my doll. She wanted to get my cherished girl doll to marry her boy doll. I was pretty excited about planning a doll wedding, till I heard the actual terms of the wedding.
I grew up in various parts of India, a fact that I am very proud of because it made me realize how diverse this country is while most of the issues and problems remain the same. My early childhood was spent in Gujarat and we lived in a neighbourhood that was largely middle-class. In the evening all the children would come out and play the regular games of hide and seek, seven stones and chor police.
Most of the girls had dolls but I was encouraged from home to play with all sorts of toys and not fixate on dolls. When I was around 6 years old I got my first doll for my birthday. The doll almost came up to half my height and wore a dress, shoes and everything else that dolls wear. I was pretty excited to have this new playmate and would regularly show her off to my other friends.
One of the favorite games the girls in the neighbourhood played in those days was getting dolls married. Girl dolls would get married to boy dolls like they do in the ‘proper’ society.
The weddings themselves would be fun for the participating friends as some girls served real snacks at the weddings and got the dolls dressed up for the wedding in bridal clothes. There would be a gudda and a guddi and a make shift mandap and everything. The weddings would be officiated by whatever the 6-7 year olds considered appropriate.
One day a girl I vaguely knew came to me with a proposal for my doll. She wanted to get my cherished girl doll to marry her boy doll. I was pretty excited about having a doll wedding and planning a doll wedding till I heard the actual terms of the wedding.
According to norm after the wedding my doll would go to this friend’s house and be with her dolls, and would only occasionally visit me!
So in short this friend of mine would gain two dolls while I lost the only one I had. As you can imagine the wedding got called off quickly. My doll has lived a great life being a spinster with some occasional setbacks in her life like being drawn on her forehead with a marker or losing her ribbons, but overall I am sure she doesn’t complain. The doll still resides in my mothers cupboard like most cherished toys do.
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A traveler at heart and a writer by chance a vital part of a vibrant team called Women's Web. I Head Marketing at Women's Web.in and am always evolving new ways in read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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"I chose to go out into the remote, wild, unknown, and make it home," says entrepreneur Kiranjeet Ahluwalia Chaturvedi, who owns Birdsong & Beyond.
The story of my mountain home Birdsong & Beyond started taking shape in 2009, on the internet, the way many stories do these days.
My childhood fascination for a life in the Himalayas led to an internship with a central Himalayan NGO instead of a much prized corporate assignment. But when they offered me a full-time job, I refused. I was overcome by fear and a lack of confidence.
My other longings pulled me away – the longing to fit in, to earn validation from others. By my mid-30s, with all the trappings of a middle-class urban life in place, the call of the snows couldn’t be ignored anymore. So I got to work on it with clearer intentions and a stronger sense of what I needed for myself, and why.
Many Indian elderly are firm believers in enslaving a daughter-in-law in the name of tradition which is actually a tradition of oppression and not of religious faith.
Albeit, the popular culture has interpreted scriptures as suggesting that Kanyadaan is the supreme form of donation given to someone, the connotation that the word donation alludes to definitely objectifies the girl.
Even when the exegesis justify the act of giving away the daughter, considering it a ritual to mark the initiation of the daughter into her husband’s gotra and her becoming the part of his family tree.
There is no denial of the fact that this initiation is not required on the part of the groom thereby formally denoting the end of the filial ties with the daughter as it was popularly instructed to the bride during the Vidai ceremonies:
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