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Our lives are rarely fairy tales. For the tough days, here's a roadmap on how to find inner strength.
Our lives are rarely fairy tales. For the tough days, here’s a roadmap to find inner strength.
We all have our good days and bad days. Good days are wonderful, and pass by in a jiffy, while the bad days drag you along and don’t end as quickly as you want them to. Sometimes, it is really hard to cope with bad days, and your inner strength gives way to all the negativity inside.
Life is not easy! Every day we face different challenges at work, at home, in our relationships, with our kids. No matter what, these negative situations are unavoidable, and will come up now and then. These situations are out of our control, but what is in our control is how we deal with them. Our attitudes and way of living generally dictate how we face these challenges. It’s us who can decide if these situations will consume us fully, or instead, inspire us to change. It takes inner strength to face these situations and turn them into positive episodes.
These situations are out of our control, but what is in our control is how we deal with them.
This strength comes naturally to some, and some fight for it throughout their lives. Some may have been encouraged as children to stand up for what is right, and have their own voice and opinions, while others might have pushed their inner strength to the back burner after years of being too nice to everybody and going with the flow.
I believe I am a nice person; I am good with most of the people around me, though I am not much of a talker (so some people do mistake my attitude and all that). But I believe I am a very strong person inside, and people who know me will vouch for it. There are tough times and experiences in everybody’s life – the type and intensity may vary, but we all do experience some hardships while we are growing. Inner strength can be cultivated using such experiences.
Inner strength is within every one, it’s just that one needs to find, hold, and practice it to make it a meaningful part of your lives. To find your inner strength, first of all, you need to come to terms with who you are and learn to value your contributions to this world (however small they are – they are your contributions). Trust your inner strength, and it will only grow and make you a stronger person outside too. You will be able to fight and face your problems and come out stronger than ever before.
The following pointers can help you in your journey towards inner strength:
This is the first and most important step in this journey. Accept who you are, learn about your strengths and past mistakes. The biggest challenge in this discovery towards inner strength is to be at peace with yourself. You cannot be strong enough to face the world unless you have stopped fighting with yourself.
You cannot be strong enough to face the world unless you have stopped fighting with yourself.
At times we re-live some painful moments of our lives just because we cannot forgive. The feelings of anger, despair, self-pity start eating us from inside, and make us all the more negative. No matter how painful the memory, it is already in the past and you cannot do anything about it but learn from it. Think about it and forgive. Don’t think twice about forgiving another person or yourself, for that matter!
Inner strength is all about knowing that you are valuable and deserve to be treated well. Being in the company of positive people who treat you well, are fun, creative and helpful, will not only reaffirm your own value to yourself, but also keep you happy.
Focus on your successes, and work your way towards what all you can accomplish. Remember – no one is perfect, and there are some irritating flaws in everybody. As I said before, count your blessings and value your contributions.
Positivity needs some cultivation, and I am still working on it, to be honest. When life is hard, learn from that difficult situation and look for blessings in disguise. Remember that having a positive attitude involves being generous to others. So start listening to people, and valuing their struggles.
I feel the strongest when I am relaxed. I don’t know how religious you are, but meditation and being spiritual makes my days less hard on me. Try cutting down on that stress and find out ways that help you – be it going for a run, meditating, taking a long hot bath etc.
We all need someone to whom we can take our problems. It might be your mom, partner, friend or a therapist who can offer you a new and fresh perspective. Getting it all out of your system makes all the difference, at times. And no one should have to struggle with everything on their own. Your inner strength also needs support from outside at times.
Apart from all this, I feel social media has made our lives so much of a competition. It’s good to know and be connected with your long lost friends, but to some people it has become the measure of their life’s success. You may not have reached the same stage of life as your friends have, you may still not own your dream house or have children, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t reach there. It is important to remember to switch off and stop questioning yourself, because like you, your friends also share their best things on social media.
Good luck with this journey, my friends, and I sincerely hope this article is able to help some of you at least!
“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe”- Marcus Aurelius
Pic credit: Image of a woman meditating via Shutterstock.
I have been working in financial services for about 7 years and have recently moved to Hong Kong from India and am enjoying my expat stint. I am now enjoying writing about anything and everything, read more...
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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