It’s Time You Refuse To Let People Body Shame You!

Posted: April 12, 2017

Your body, your control. Work on it, for yourself, but don’t shaming your body is out! Because, if you don’t approve of yourself, who else will?

A few months ago, a relative of mine had come to visit. He looked at me and exclaimed, “Aishu, you had reduced so well but you have put on weight again now!”

I was too dumbfounded to react, and I just shrugged and let it pass. But even after he had left, I couldn’t help but ponder on it. Had I really put on weight? Was I looking bad? But I didn’t look like I had gained weight. With so many thoughts in mind, I kept glancing at the mirror now and again.

The next morning, the first thing I did when I woke up was look into the mirror and proceeded to feel my flab. The whole day was whiled away with me pinching myself over and over again (to feel if there was any extra bit of flesh!), until the evening when my mother asked me why I was running to the mirror every half an hour.

This struck me; had I been looking at the mirror that often? Why was I being so bothered by a comment from someone? Did someone’s approval matter so much?!

I remember, when I was a young girl, I used to be tense just before my father came to India (my dad works abroad) and would undergo crash diets and do last minute exercises lest my dad commented on how I looked. I have worn those big, flowing dresses so that I wouldn’t look fat (and fat is a term I heard since time immemorial in my life!). I have sucked my tummy in and posed for pictures and videos; videos, which when seen now, looks like I had been having some kind of breathing trouble! I have been hesitant to dress up or to even flaunt myself just for the fear that I didn’t look good enough.

But, if I don’t approve of myself, who else will? This is the case for a lot of us women. We are just not happy/ comfortable with the way we are. A friend of mine has a healthy body, but she complains that she has a flat butt. Another complains that she has a double chin while another hates her curves. It matters so much to us to get into a shape that is accepted by society. We are ashamed to wear skirts or shorts if we haven’t got our legs waxed, sleeveless is a strict no-no if our underarms are not devoid of hair, a little bit of hair on the upper lips – get ‘em threaded! Slim teas and protein shakes, we try them all. In an attempt to seek everyone’s approval, we have just lost our liberty to our body.

We need to understand that we are so much more than our body. We are our thoughts, we are our emotions, and we are our actions. Most of all, we are our soul. Isn’t that what is most important??  There have been days when I have felt very inferior about myself, and have spent almost 20 years hating my body but earlier this year I decided I won’t. I embrace myself, my curves, and everything else that makes me, because those are what make me, me. Today, when I look into the mirror, I see someone who is capable of so much love and compassion, and I love myself for that.

Your body, Your control. Work on it but don’t shame it! Because, if you don’t approve of yourself, who else will?

P.S: This is not a post out of self pity nor is it a post telling people not to work on their body. Get fit for yourself, be healthy for yourself, hell, get piercings or tattoos, but do it for you, and only YOU!

Published here earlier.

Image source: shutterstock

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I used to work in Human Resources, but now am a Freelance Consultant of Content.

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  1. Seems this was for me, i have been shying away from wearing what i want to…………because those stares and talks that shame my body almost kill me! this is encouraging

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