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An open letter to all the people who make light of sexual harassment! Put yourselves in an ordinary woman's shoes - sexual harassment is not a joke!
An open letter to all the people who make light of sexual harassment! Put yourselves in an ordinary woman’s shoes – sexual harassment is not a joke!
Dear Clueless Person,
Have you ever woken up with a dream that assaulted and infringed your integrity? So haunting that it daunted you for an entire day? Or maybe even after that? Or have you ever had the same fear of exposure of your own self or of somebody close to you to such a situation in real life? Does it make you cringe and boil when somebody comes and intentionally rubs against or gropes your private parts? Does it infuriate you further, when you are not treated as anything more than a mere sexual object to satiate somebody else’s lust?
Well, these are some of those things which have become an inevitable part of an average woman’s existence. She wakes up with the baggage of such fears on her shoulders every day. She carries them relentlessly throughout the day, across the streets, and among the people that she mixes with. The cold, fearful feeling does not go away even while she goes off to sleep at night, thinking, subconsciously if not loudly, “Thank God! I made my way though another day!”
She would, at some point in time, dress up in an Indian way, wearing saree, salwar-kameez with a dupatta, a ghoonghat or a burqa, disbanding the western jeans, short skirts, crop-tops and bikini, so as to not incite the animal in the potential rapists around her.
She would self impose curfews, at times, to avoid the possibility of becoming a bait to the lurking dogs around her.
She would wear subtle makeup at crowded public places (like Delhi Metro), as against her favourite bright red or pink lipstick, so as to not come under the radar of any ogler.
She would maintain distance with her male colleagues and friends, by not talking late at night or avoiding any sexual advances, to avoid the possibility of being taken for granted for a slut.
She would sacrifice her carrier options, such as journalism, which would require her physical and mental labour at hours away from the day light’s and people’s safeguard. And all this she does in vain, oblivion to the source of the problem that lies not within her but with the patriarchal mindset of the society.
Now whether a bunch of male chauvinist or patriarchal junk might understand this or not, the sexuality of a woman, or for that matter any person, has become a very pertinent and prominent part of her integrity and dignity. And as the celebrated feminist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, rightly and on the point had put it- “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman”.
Thus, even if the woman would rather be considered a human being first, society will not let her be, looking at women through the gender lens for everything. Making it a daily battle for her to protect her identity, dignity, and integrity. Something which, ultimately, comes at the mercy of ‘the men’ who assume the role of either a ‘protector’ or a ‘violator’.
The purpose here is to not make out women as victims or men as culprits – it’s just to give a reality check on how things exist on ground for the women, whose progress as a human being is often limited by these matters.
Everywoman
P.S. – Bangalore at shame for mass molestation. The society further at shame for #NotAllMen.
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I am a law student, who is highly interested in the functionality of law in the society. The primary reason for this is the sensitivity that I feel towards the oppressed and the vulnerable, with read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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