A comprehensive and introspective look at the importance of acknowledging and nurturing self worth, and ways to find and retain it in your life.
I know about one life for sure and I am living it with each passing second. But am I spreading my true colours every moment for which I was here? I identify with many women today who know that they have a heart of their own, but are unable to hear it amongst the noise of the different circumstances in life. Today let me realise my unique self worth and hold on to it as my best friend for life.
Ever since I landed in this world, I had a softer cry, softer feelings, and the softest heart known to mankind. I wanted to sooth the environment around by empathising, cheering up, not showing my anger, etc. In the process, I have been hurt, taken for granted, misunderstood.
And now responsibilities may have taken a front seat in life – to be a perfect wife, to take good care of my kids or to be an efficient worker. I am taken aback when my mother in law says, “We had so much energy to take care of home and work, which the new generation does not have” or when my boss says, “You do not seem to be realistic in your ideas.”
Identifying with my mother, who I believe to be a strong woman, usually meant to be moving on in life. I didn’t care to first thoughtfully recall my strengths, beliefs, likes, priorities; and then be assertive to show my perspective to the world. I may have eventually lost sight of my self worth.
It’s a hard fact that made me understand that my self worth wasn’t on any teacher or parent’s formal teaching agenda. Until I faced the music, the criticism and learnt my big lessons in life, I wouldn’t be pushed to really know my own self worth.
Self worth is the potential I believe I have in order to achieve the best things in life. It is said to be an internal attribute. It is what I think of myself, not necessarily the perception people have of me.
It may not be directly proportional to the accolades or success I have attained so far. Nature has bestowed each individual with a unique worth, be it The Sun, The Earth, The Wind, The Flower, The Bee, The Air or Me. What I think about it is my self worth.
I may be a top employee in a big organization or the head of any business firm or a house maker – there is always a threat to lose sight of my true self worth. I may have vast knowledge, skills, a loving family but if I feel low, nothing seems achievable. Without it, I cannot even live. Suicide happens due to lack of self worth.
“To double your net worth, double your self-worth. Because you will never exceed the height of your self-image.” – Robin Sharma
P.V. Sindhu, the Olympic Champion surely had the potential to be at the top of World Badminton. The coach also had lots of work to do simultaneously. Pullela Gopichand says, “Indian children grow up in a protected environment because of which they do not express themselves enough, even when they are in a sports arena. Showing a temperament by screaming a bit and an aggressive body language also helps to intimidate the opponent. In sport, where domination is key, this aspect is important” – I agree with Gopichand. This is truer with Indian women. I think we still need to be more assertive as it is a known challenge since long.
“We need women who are so strong they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate, they can be rational and so disciplined, they can be free.”-Kavita Ramdas, President and CEO, Global Fund for Women.
I introduce myself to my self worth only if –
To be aware of my self worth is the first step towards a life my worth. I was not made a replica of my mother, father, spouse or friend. They are not benchmarks for my ideas, beliefs, likes, dislikes and life. I am the most unique entity in this world and can have own thoughts, perspectives and appearance. I shall dig out, surface those and love them.
‘You may be a Nanda or a Bachchan, but never ever worry about ‘log kya kahenge’!‘. This is an excerpt from Amitabh Bachchan’s life lessons to his granddaughters, Navya Nanda and Aradhya Bachchan.
I remembered the last time I felt most satisfied with any achievement viz, any award, any interview I qualified or any friend I chose. Here I had made some small and big choices and nobody else was a part of it. Let me try and make my own decisions through life independently and own them.
It may not be the best choice but I can try and make it the best for me. Nothing in the world will give me the happiness which I get while knowing I am on the road to reaching my own potential. It is the most appropriate way to shun my internal apprehensions and external enemies and enjoy bliss than taking any revenge.
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples”- Mother Teresa
I try to figure out the nature of people around me by understanding their behaviours in particular situations.
I may be hurt by someone’s comments frequently. When I observe these people’s behaviour with others, they definitely have this habit while dealing with most people. It is not I but they themselves who are the reason for their behaviour. So I never lose my grace.
You will never feel uncomfortable in the company of a genuine person.
“Some of the very senior astronauts shook my hand and said, K.C you did a great job. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” – Astronaut, Kalpna Chawla
Also, by trying to understand the psyche of the other, I can further know myself, my self worth and enhance my confidence. I can differentiate my thought process on a particular situation vis a vis the other. On the other hand, there would be many instances to learn about new perspectives while dealing with people and choosing my own best.
I don’t see small ego clashes within family and friends, small jealousy instincts in the work place, small daily trivial issues in raising my children, as roadblocks to my happiness and high self worth. My goals, aspirations, self control and habits are much stronger and bigger. I act above the age old suffocating customs and traditions. I identify my area of interest.
Make a goal to grow each day and become the best. I do a SWOT analysis to identify my strengths, weakness, threats and opportunities for achieving that goal. I focus on my strengths and surpass them day by day. I yearn to have the best physical, spiritual and mental health and work towards it by routinely exercising, meditating and exploring my identity.
Madhuri Dixit, the celebrated Indian Actress, shared that she approached each new assignment to be the best ever of her lifetime, which made her achieve remarkable blockbusters.
“When you believe, your mind will find way to do.”-David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big
I feel children give me another chance to explore and surface myself further. I respect them as a unique entity and not my property. While genuinely raising my kids and helping them follow the road to reach their own potential, I give my attention; use my inner thoughts, beliefs, character, talents, values and a heart filled with happiness. Only happy parents can produce happy children. I enjoy parenting and work towards being my best as a parent.
“When I think of my childhood, I realize that most of life lessons were actually learnt in my childhood, mostly through examples set by my parents. The values that they instilled in my formative years gave me the foundation on which I try to live my life even today.” – Chanda Kochchar, MD and CEO ICICI Bank Ltd.
Home is the space where I create my thoughts and thus my destiny. It is my children’s den and a place where I share a special bond with my family. A blissful environment has the ability to overcome different anxieties.
I always ensure a happy environment in the house by avoiding heated arguments, unpleasant undue discussions. I encourage calmness to face any challenging situation. I ensure that I fill it with great memories of togetherness, peace, art, music, inspiration and what not. It makes my home the most comfortable place in the world.
“Anything that does not kill me leaves me stronger.”- Friedrich Nietzsche
Japanese scientists have performed experiments on the effect of positive and negative thoughts on water. Beautiful shapes of particles of water were observed in response to positive thoughts, whereas the results showed displeasing images in response to negativity. Human body has 60% water. Our thoughts are said to have a major effect on our lives as well as on the lives of others whom we interact with.
“The only dream worth having is to dream that you will live while you are alive and die only when you are dead.” – Arundhati Roy, Booker Prize Winning Writer
I have felt miracles happening in my life when something extra happened apart from my efforts. It couldn’t be less than GOD but I could not see him outwardly. It would have been right inside me. In today’s time of distress all around, GOD seems to operate within me but during special times. Today let’s feel his presence in me as my true self worth.
Knowing my self worth enables me to confidently choose between right and wrong and celebrate myself. It gives me the power to understand the rest of the world. As I know about one life I have, today I shall take that long due selfie with my self worth. Here, I am ready to create that new story I always dreamt to share with the world.
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Image Source: NY – nyphotographic.com