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Circumstances cannot be controlled, but your response to them certainly can be. Looking at things positively certainly helps your well-being.
Looking at this glass of water, I am sure you will be expecting the question “Glass is half empty or half full?”
For those of you who do not know what this phrase means, let me explain. “Is this glass of water half empty or half full?” is a common expression used to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism(half full) or pessimism(half empty). This is actually a metaphor used to understand one’s view about life.
If someone is negative and pessimistic, they are looking at what they do not have instead of what they have. On the other side if someone is positive and optimistic, they are looking at what they have rather than what they do not have and that indicates half full.
A psychologist once asked her audience “How heavy is this glass of water?”
The answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g . The best answer given was “It depends on how long you hold it. If you hold it for an hour definitely you will have an ache in your arm.”
The psychologist smiled and said “Yes. If I hold this glass of water for a longer time my arm will feel numb. The weight of glass is actually not going to change but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
Worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while nothing happens. But if you think about it the whole day, you will feel low and depressed and also incapable of doing anything. So start concentrating on being cheerful and happy, be it home or at workplace.
The other day my colleague, Niharika, who is an engineer had a very bad head ache and refused to go to work. Subasmita, who is a doctor and her roommate was clever enough to understand the reason behind this. She did not have tablet for headache but at the same time did not want to disappoint her friend. She gave Niharika a digestive tablet without letting her know about it. She told Niharika that she will be fine after having the tablet and asked her to drink lots and lots of water and then take a deep breathe. While she was doing so Subasmita reminded her of the recent trip good moments.
After few minutes she got back to work and told me that her head ache had disappeared within few minutes of consuming the tablet.
The digestive tablet had worked wonders for her. She did know what tablet it was but she had faith in Subasmita. Niharika was told she will be fine after few minutes and that made her train her mind that she will be fine. Few minutes later she could notice remarkable difference in the way she felt. Her headache was only due to loads of work and stress. Once she had emptied her mind she continued to feel good.
Whenever you feel low or depressed, when negative thoughts begin to rule your mind, imagine a beautiful object/person or simply recollect the sweet memories, good days of your life. At first, with the good things, bad thoughts related with these good memories begin to distract your mind. But then simply return your attention to those good things ignoring the bad thoughts.
Another way is to write down all those bad thoughts on a piece of paper and flush it/tear it. Then tell your mind that the bad thoughts have no right to rule your mind.
Mind is all yours. It will focus only on what you command it to focus on and if you ask it to focus on the bad it will make your mind heavier like that glass of water in your arm for a longer time. Train your mind not to get distracted and to focus on those things that are required, because either you control your mind or it controls you.
A software engineer by profession, blogger by passion. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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