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We're all locked into our homes (even if metaphorically) now, and a little humour goes a long way - here are some pandemic lessons from a bored housewife.
We’re all locked into our homes (even if metaphorically) now, and a little humour goes a long way – here are some pandemic lessons from a bored housewife.
Yes, first up, I agree that I’m a bored housewife, political correctness notwithstanding. And I have been coping just like most other similar housewives during this pandemic.
I did, however, learn some new things, mostly about myself and those around me.
So here are my 20 lessons from the coronavirus pandemic. No offence meant to anyone; please take my words in the humorous vein in which they’re meant.
~ You can make bread, pav, burger, even pizza at home, without ‘maida’- BUT you can’t make eggs! If you’re out, you’re out. (Note to self: always add the word ‘eggless’ to google search BEFORE I finalise a recipe and start mixing the flour).
~ I am crazier than I thought.
~ Good electricity supply and internet speed can save sanity (and prevent crimes of passion).
~ Two kids is better than one bored, whiny, clingy, and did I say bored, kid.
~ I am way crazier than previously believed.
~ Showering is pretty low on humankind’s priority list
~ You can never be too grateful for a maid (or any type of household help).
~ Offices are overrated.
~ Executives, even high-flying, aggressive, sales types, are just soft balls of goo when they stare death from a binocular.
~ Hitherto timid housewives are just fearless superheroes in disguise (proof: look at them go lion-heartedly straight into the storm. From grocer to fruit vendor to vegetable guy. Picking chocolate spread, hapus, and freshest greens for their family during a pandemic! While the men cower in front of their laptops, headphones on, avoiding all eye contact, to escape the refilling duty).
~ Amitabh Bachhan films were right all along. Happy poor people who work their behinds off all day, then dance cheerfully at night? Totally! Maidless and overworked, my neighbours are playing music and dancing, come nightfall.
~ Maidless is a word- with very specific and graphic connotations.
~ Maidless in Delhi would be a blockbuster film. More than Sleepless in Seattle and Maid in Manhattan combined.
~ It takes two to tango (ok I knew that already)
~ It is pretty easy to forget if something was yesterday or the day before, during a lockdown.
~ When people don’t have to go dress up and go out, the ‘no make-up’ is metaphorical too. Five weeks of being in each others face 24/7 and you see – Condition: As Is.
~ God help newly weds in the ‘impressing each other’ phase of the relationship. The ugly becoming visible so soon!
~ Doctors, other medical staff and police are underrated.
~ Schools are definitely overrated. My kids haven’t been to one in over a month and they are growing up and blossoming just fine.
~ If you’re still reading, chances are you are quite crazy too. And that’s cool. We should probably grab a coffee once this is done and dusted.
Image source: a still from the film Tumhari Sulu
Garima is a psychologist, mind-body wellness coach, holistic weight-loss specialist, and author of many books. She recently won the 2019 International Book Award for her holistic health and happiness book The Body Nirvana: read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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