A Mom During Lockdown To Her Family: Home Is As Much Your Responsibility, So Get Your Act Together!

We all live in this home and enjoy the comforts. We are all equally responsible for making it a wonderful place to spend our days in.

My Dear Family,

You know I love you and I know you love me, During these times of pandemic and lockdown, our life has been shaken up. You, as kids, have had to adjust to a lot of changes very suddenly. It can all feel quite unfair, and rather like a bad dream. One you wish to wake up from really soon.

However (there is always a however), “muddayi lakh bura chahe to kya hota hai, wahi hota hai jo manzur-e-khuda hota hai”. (No matter how much anyone wants to hurt you, finally only that is possible that God wishes). This is a line about accepting things that God or Nature (or virus) control. Accepting things that we cannot change.

This letter is written to you not to clarify the above survival mantra, but to write down my thoughts around the expectations in this family. So here goes-

1. I am in-charge of running the household BUT I am not the one who is supposed to DO all the work.
2. This isn’t 20th century. I too am educated and ambitious. If I still make time to do the work that our help used to do, you can do that too. In spite of all your academic commitments, make time to maintain the house.
3. You deserve a harmonious and smooth-functioning household. So do I. So participate in making the house harmonious. Once you set your mind to it, it is not only easy but also fun. Do it, even if it isn’t.
4. To do what is expected in point 3, means showing initiative. Wipe the kitchen counter, dining table or your work table whenever messy or dusty. Put your washed clothes in your almirahs. Pick up your art supplies even if you will come back to it. Hell, make me tea or coffee when you can! Basically, put things away and clean up without anyone asking you to.
5. Don’t groan when I remind you that you have a class or webinar coming up. I am playing your ‘alarm clock’ and ‘appointment diary’ as a courtesy and assistance to you. So spare me the tantrum. If you have taken up more commitments than you want then change things. I don’t want to play your pep-talk coach on a daily basis for attending classes that YOU signed up for.
6. Final word, remember things have changed drastically for me too. Before the lockdown did you see me spend hours in the kitchen cleaning, washing and cooking? Don’t be old-fashioned. If the help isn’t coming, that does not make all house-work Mom’s job. We all live in this home and enjoy the comforts. We are all equally responsible for making it a wonderful place to spend our days in.
7. You can still expect me to cook fresh for you daily. Three times each day.

Lots of love! Xoxo

Mom

Image source: a still from YouTube

Garima Gupta

Garima is a psychologist, mind-body wellness coach, holistic weight-loss specialist, and author of

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