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As I grew up, I have questioned myself- Do I even know her? What she likes, dislikes, how was she as a child? Do I know her INDIVIDUALLY as a woman?
Every year on my mother’s birthday, the thing I struggle to do the most is decide a gift for her. Infinite items available all around the world and not one am I able to pick? Sounds relatable? Have you ever given a deeper thought to this? I have always wondered why this happens? Is it because nothing could justify what she actually deserves?
Maybe, but not entirely.
Because she has always been a mother, before that she was a wife and before that she was a daughter.
Last night my brother asked her if any piece of cake was left which she had baked- it was not left because she had eaten the last one. You could see the guilt oozing out of her face. Apparently, she is a bad mother now. Society defines mothers to be a perfect blend of sacrifice, sacrifice and sacrifice. She can’t have a piece of cake in peace let alone an individual life!
And the worst part is, my mother expects the same from herself. That is depth of the conditioning. Is this how it is supposed to work? – You give birth to a new life and your individuality dies?
The teenagers and young generation keep ranting about how they don’t get to live a free, independent life, but no one thinks even once about how mothers have been operating since forever. We have normalized these patterns, no one finds it to be questionable.
If someone starts to expect perfection in everything from you, one day it will become too scary or maybe annoying. It’s the same we do to our mothers. It’s not only us, but they too forget ‘their’ life.
Nobody can take care of you like your mother, no matter how old you grow. They are our safest place, our home. But where is their home? Can we find it? At least we can take baby steps to find it or better, become their home.
Once, just once, sit and ponder how your mother’s life has been and what if it was yours?
Image source: a still from short film Ghar ki Murgi
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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