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Maybe we don’t always want to be nice. We don’t want to be arrogant either. Maybe sometimes, we just want to be.
Flying seems to have become a needlessly eventful exercise in recent times. Or perhaps it always was.
Other news on one side, an old video involving a Bollywood actress and a billionaire businessman on a flight from London, garnered a lot of reactions from people. Admittedly, it got me thinking too.
Ok, so the actress did not converse with her fans at that particular moment (she could have been tired, unwell or simply not in the mood) but why was the gentleman sitting next to her so quick to pass his judgement about something that did not concern him? Did he do so simply because she is an actress (after all, many of us feel that people in showbiz have to learn to give up on the kind of privacy that we regular folks take for granted) or would he have said the same about any other woman in her place too?
The thought that kept coming back however much I tried to think otherwise, was that undeniably, women are usually always, unfailingly judged anyhow.
This is what got me thinking. Well, maybe we should put it out there for everyone to know that it isn’t so easy for a woman to “show more affection” or “simply be nicer”. In fact, a woman will always be judged. If she’s nice, then she will be blamed for being over-friendly and “asking for it”. If she keeps to herself, she will be called arrogant and egotistical.
Ask any woman. Ask me!
A recent post I put up on a social media handle got a barrage of messages from men and women alike. While all the messages were acknowledged and appreciated, there was one particular man who did seem a little relentless in the way he flooded my inbox with compliments. I did thank him (trying to be nice you see) but that really got him going. Four dozen messages in less than 20 minutes and I was done being nice! Being nice had cost me! So I promptly blocked him from my profile and heaved a sigh of relief. Good riddance!
Point? For all those who are quick to pass judgement, or who think that a particular woman in a particular situation could have shown more affection or “been nicer”, please remember that it isn’t always easy for us to do so. Maybe we don’t always want to be nice. We don’t want to be arrogant either. Maybe sometimes, we just want to be.
Rrashima is a senior corporate analyst with over 20 years of experience in the corporate sector. She is also a prolific writer, novelist and poet and her articles, stories and poems are regularly published in read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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