Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
My life was very different and much more exciting than all of theirs. I had chosen to remain single, despite the coaxing and threatening that my parents and relatives showered upon me.
We all had grown old (or young) together, but all our idea and ideals were different. Today, all of them were grandmothers and shouldered much more responsibilities, than when they were (just) mothers.
Lekshmi’s daughter worked in a nationalised bank, so quite naturally she and her husband became her grandchild’s babysitters. However, Mumtaz’s case was quite different. She had lost her husband a decade ago, so now she was staying with her son and his family. She sort of justified her role saying that it was “symbiotic”, she had people to help her and her grandchildren had her to look after them. Anila, however, was very different. She and her husband kept shuttling to and fro between America, London, and India. Her children were on two different continents and they “requested” help whenever they could not manage on their own.
My life was very different and much more exciting than all of theirs. I had chosen to remain single, despite the coaxing and threatening that my parents and relatives showered upon me. They cited reasons ranging from having someone to share your life with to having children to carry forward the legacy. But, I told them that I had friends and of course, my family to share my life with. Also, my legacy would be carried on through my students which seemed more than enough.
One by one, my friends got married and every wedding was a reunion for us, but a way to taunt me for others. However, later people realised that I was stubborn in my decision and so they gave up. I had a job that paid me enough to let me live life on my terms. I bought an apartment quite close to my parents’ house and moved out. I planned my entire year in such a way that I could keep monotonicity at bay. My friends and I met at least four times in a year, initially, on my insistence and later as a compulsion by them. I was their “go-to” person as I was able to think rationally whenever they faced a dilemma.
Every year, for two weeks, I used to travel which actually helped me to get to know other cultures and their ways of life. In my younger days, I used to want to visit foreign countries but now I desired to see India and know its soul. I disliked going with a guide or being guided, rather I preferred researching on a place and going on my own. This helped me to know about a place and help others to plan their vacation.
Many times, my friends’ children asked me about a place before setting out on their journeys. I would always jot down details while travelling and later elaborate on it, in my diary. I was always looking forward to these journeys and kept advising people to travel.
My life was very simple as I chose to keep it that way. I made meals if I felt like, but ensured that I didn’t strictly follow a particular diet which meant I could try any dish, any day. I didn’t have a household who waited for me to cook for them or prepare their favourite dishes. Remarkably, whenever I thought about talking or venting out, one of my friends would call and then we ended up hearing each other out.
People asked me how I spend my evenings and weekends as I was all alone. But, the truth was I had lots of activities that in fact, I ran short of time. My evenings were spent in the company of books and movies. Sometimes, I would just drive to a mall for window shopping or to the beach just to feel the breeze. I did have my share of dull days when my hormones were low, but with time I learned to overcome and deal with it. I was just thankful that at this particular time I didn’t have to deal another one’s mood swings or tantrums.
My life revolved around me and my own. This gave me enough space to include whom I wanted and those who required my attention and care. People could approach me at any time to pour out their woes and I was all ears to them. As time flew by, I became the aunty of the neighbourhood who understood everyone’s perspectives and was unbiased. My globe-trotting and voracious reading gave me a wisdom and understanding far beyond my age which made me a favourite everywhere as opposed to being criticized for my choices.
Today, as I stand on the threshold of being a sexagenarian, I am proud that I took the decision of remaining single and thereby living an unselfish life. I am the darling of all my friends and not just for one. I hear no cribbing, no insults, no comparisons, and no time schedules to meet. I do have a job that requires my undivided attention, but limit it to my working hours which means I do not carry any work home, as against the expectation of some of my more “sincere” colleagues. My world is no different from any married lady’s but I have a life that revolves around my ideas, ideals and desires. Life has thrown in its share of problems but I have dealt with it.
I do have my own needs but I know how to deal with it, quite satisfactorily.
Marrying and having children are personal choices and need not be thrust upon youngsters as I have lived a fulfilling life with a lot of people, all accepting my choice, finally.
Presently working as an English tutor, a dentist by profession, but a writer forever. Love penning down everything I strongly feel about and create a change in mindset, especially among the youth. read more...
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Ms. Kulkarni, please don’t apologise ‘IF’ you think you hurt women. Apologise because you got your facts wrong. Apologise for making sexual harassment a casual joke.
If Sonali Kulkarni’s speech on most modern Indian women being lazy left me shocked and enraged, her apology post left me deeply saddened.
I’d shared my thoughts on her problematic speech in an earlier article. So, I’ll share why I felt Kulkarni’s apology post was more damaging than her speech.
If her speech made her an overnight hero among MRAs, sexists, and people who were awed by her dramatic words, then her apology post made her a legendary saint.
There are many mountains I need to climb just to be, just to live my life, just to have my say... because they are mountains you've built to oppress women.
Trigger Warning: This deals with various kinds of violence against women including rape, and may be triggering for survivors.
I haven’t climbed a literal mountain yet
Was busy with the metaphorical ones – born a woman
Fighting for the air that should have come free
And I am one of the privileged ones, I realize that
Yet, if I get passionate, just like you do
I will pay for it – with burden, shame, – and possibly a life to carry
So, my mountains are the laws you overturn
My mountains are the empty shelves where there should have been pills
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