He Said: Your Strong Opinions Ruined My Relationship With My Parents!

Before my marriage, my views were known to my partner and he appreciated it. However, when I wished to voice my opinions in front of his parents, he used to become completely silent.

The circumstances in my family were such that I had no option other than to become strong right from childhood. The interesting part was that it was my mother who taught me to be strong.

My mother had to fight with her extended family for my own and my sister’s education. She had to keep on facing the sarcastic comments, “No one will marry your daughters if you get them educated.

I remained determined

However, she was aghast when I chose my partner. “It’s not something a girl does. You’ve lowered my esteem in the eyes of society” she said.

Again strength is what she had taught me and I remained so, which angered her. Now, she couldn’t tolerate me since I was strong!

Before my marriage, I had my views known to my partner and he used to appreciate me day in and out for that. However, when I wished to voice my opinion in front of his parents, he used to become completely silent.

I would often wonder about his silence till he told me one day, “Because of your strong opinions, you’ve ruined my relationship with my parents.”

What were the opinions?

And what were the opinions on which I used to state my views? Trivial issues such as whether I should wear ghunghat, whether I should drape a sari in office and if I should wear sindoor.

My stating that I don’t want to do one of the pujas was taken as a complete demonstration of strength which a “bahu” should never do!

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Later these issues became so important that he even walked away from marriage for two years or so. Yes, he couldn’t tolerate a strong woman as his wife because his parents didn’t like it!

I had entered a field in my job which was dominated by men. But I exactly knew how to handle things. I was leading more than a thousand men.

Some of them were fine with it, others weren’t used to being commanded by a woman!

Qualification is secondary!

So what if I was qualified in all ways? Some bosses clearly stated that they didn’t wish to have a woman working under them on such important portfolios. It didn’t matter to them that I was better than many of the other male colleagues.

However, a lot of them were also envious of my achievements. Could they tolerate a strong woman?

However, nothing deterred me! I smiled and carried on with my tasks without fear. Slowly, I began to be recognised for who I am.

The best moment of my life was when I asked my daughter, “From where do you get strength to do so well?”

And she replied, “You were always my starting point, mom! And I love you for being strong!

Image source: Vivian Rupani’s images, and Hailshadow, free and edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author


Neelam Saxena Chandra is an Engineering graduate from VNIT and has done her Post Graduation Diploma in IM&HRD and also in Finance. She has completed a summer course in Finance from London School of read more...

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