Letter Of Grievance Against Elaichi

The Badi elaichi is writhing with jealousy as to why this choti elaichi had become more famous than her. She in particular wants to sue the three Bada film stars for choosing choti over badi! 

Subject: Company that sells Elaichi to the entire India!

Dear You,

Soon after all your guests left, you called up the guest who forgot his tiny box of elaichi in our house.

He told you that you keep it, as he had already crossed halfway. Not a very elaichi person yourself, you stacked away the elaichi box on our kitchen shelf along with the rest of the condiments.

And that’s a big fault on your part!

Why does everyone love choti elaichi?

Here, the Badi elaichi is writhing with jealousy as to why this choti elaichi had become more famous than her. She in particular wants to sue the three Bada film stars for choosing choti over badi! 

Okay, if they say that choti elaichi doubles up as mouth freshener while being a condiment, then the Fennel is grumbling that even she can do the same job, so what’s the big deal?

In fact, Fennel says that even though she has the same green colour as choti elaichi, so it’s hurtful that Akshay, Ajay and Shahrukh chose choti elaichi over her.

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The Fenugreek is coming up with an unexplained explanation that since it also doubles up as a part-time cholesterol controller apart from being a full-time condiment; and has such a down-to-earth aura (he is confusing his earth-like colour basically) it was he who these big stars should have advertised. He is simply feeling very sad.

Why can’t bada stars endorse dear jeera?

The humble Jeera and Ajwain are also sad that even though they both double up as digestive magics and condiments, no one ever has pasted them next to any Bollywood stars!

“If the stars had to pick up someone as starry as them, then why didn’t they pick me up”— says the Star Anise with a feeling of sheer dejection in his voice that can’t be ignored.

“Fine, I think we should approach some long-legged Bollywood actresses to pose with me. I know they would love to hold me -with my soft smooth slim well rolled figure that has the favourite of all men—the dusky brown shade and that seductive aroma,” the Cinnamon stick is announcing openly. Now go find these actresses, please.

Jaiphal is angrily rolling from point A to point B sulking inconsolably as he is feeling that he is the ugliest that’s why he has been left out by Ajay, Akshay and Shahrukh.

What about poor Javitri?

The delicate dusky beauty Javitri is wondering if Bollywood has compared her with an octopus, which made them not once think about her.

And look at Rai — how she is sobbing non-stop. It’s a biased world, she says. Just because I am so small, these 50-plus-aged Akshay, Ajay and Shahrukh couldn’t see me only. They could’ve used reading glasses, but no, they want to look as if eyesight has no link with growing senior in age.

In view of the hurt, shame and guilt of being left out caused to all my inhabitants by actors Akshay Kumar, Ajay Devgan and Shahrukh Khan I humbly draw your attention to look into this serious matter as I have no clue how to handle the pandemonium of this Elaichi has created.

Yours faithfully,

The Condiment Dibba

Image source: chamilliewhite, free and edited on CanvaPro

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