Have You Discovered Yourself Yet?

The process of discovering yourself may not be as interesting as watching a Netflix drama, but is surely more rewarding!

“Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”

Many of us would have come across this quote with pictures of babies or minions, depicting a mix of attitude and sarcasm. If you are someone who has ever connected with your inner self, you will sink into the depth of this quote, while enjoying its humor.

We live our lives with tons of expectations from others. By the term “others”, I do not only mean the people who aren’t related to us or carry only a distant relationship. But I essentially mean every other person in our life with whom we travel personally. Of course, we expect the pizza vendor to deliver the pizzas on time; and the paani poori guy to give us an exact mix of sweet and spicy chutney.

Expectations are part of all interactions

We expect our parents to understand us; we expect our partners to respect us; we expect our in-laws to empathize with us; we expect our children to obey us; we expect our friends and siblings to support us; we expect our bosses to appreciate us; we expect our domestic helps to assist us; what not! When we plan something, we even expect God to execute our plans. Last but not the least, we also expect our bodies to function without any health issues for up to 100 years, despite exploiting it in all possible means.

Being humans with a bunch of emotional and social needs, expectations are an unavoidable part of our lives. We aren’t gods or avatars of God who have descended from heaven to earth. We needn’t be put up on the cross to preach to mankind; nor conduct a Kurukshetra war to impact society and its rules positively. In short, living a saintly life without expectations from anyone is close to impossible.

Pain from unfulfilled expectations is the problem

The problem is – when our expectations fail, we feel like we have failed! We struggle to make peace with our unfulfilled expectations. Though we recover from the pain and move on temporarily, we are hit hard every other time.

At some point in our lives, we may have to meet our own expectations without any support from others. Our parents might be too old to understand us; siblings and friends might be busy with their own families and problems; our partner might have a completely different line of thought, and our children might be too young or too busy to take part in our pains. And that’s when we have to take responsibility for ourselves.

Expert advice could be the solution

The solutions to most problems reside at the point of the problem’s origin. No problem in your life can be bigger than you and your thought process. Hence it is wise to search for the solution within yourself and not outside. Turn to yourself when there’s no one else around to rely on.

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Spend some alone time. By this, I do not mean gorging on your favorite dishes and snacks. I also do not ask you to curl up in bed for straight 15 hours. While these are the easiest ways to get rid of any pain, why not initiate a conversation with yourself? Ask yourself questions like “How do you feel?”, “Is everything ok?”. You might hear multiple chitchats in your head. Follow these thoughts closely.

One voice might whisper “This is the end of it! He exhibited such rude behavior toward me! I helped him all the while and now he is ignoring me. I won’t leave this here; I’ll prove to him who I am!”

The other one might emphasize “Come on dude! You already have too much on your plate to deal with. Before you explode, just chill with your favorite chocolate milkshake, and let go of him and his behavior. After all, it is his problem, not yours.”

And you know which one to cling to!

How you connect to yourself is totally up to you

If you haven’t discovered yourself yet, please do not Google “How to connect with my inner self?” As always, Google will help you with multiple answers. But remember, there is no specific formula/method to reach your core.

You may end up discovering your inner chitchats when you are baffled trying to choose between biriyani and pizza, or when you are chilling out on a beach holiday. That’s up to you!

If you never hear such positive whispers at any point in time, then you are that one unique piece with manufacturing defects. In that case, you may have to train your brain to connect to your fundamental self.

You are the best expert in your life!

Frankly, your inner self isn’t as interesting as a Korean drama or a Netflix series. Hence you may end up indulging in the latter ones than trying to connect with yourself. But that’s ok. It’s better to just discover your inner self for now. Later when you are in need, you can always connect with it and rely on it. Especially during your torrid times; it will never fail you.

You are the craziest, the most treasurable, and the most reliable person in your life. No one can ever empathize with you as much as you can. Hence, discover yourself – after all, sometimes you may need expert advice.

Image credit: geralt on Pixabay

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About the Author

Gayathri Venkatesan

Instructional Designer by profession; Writer by passion. A self sculpting mother exploring life in various dimensions. read more...

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