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As an overweight child and teenager, I would always say to anyone who asked me how I was, that "I am fine." But was I really fine?
She goes through the day, sifting through her struggles, but if you ask her she says- “I am fine.”
She wakes up each morning and runs her hands across her belly just to be sure that it wasn’t all a dream, but if you ask her she says- “I am fine.”
She logs in on her laptop and does her work well but she avoids that one, which she feels she is running from for a while, but if you ask her she says the same!
She is there for everyone and plays her role extremely well despite wanting to not be present at all, but if you ask her she says- “I am fine.”
She is like you and me.
The blanket response to the most asked question of “how are you doing?”
“I am fine.”
For me, this response has meant so much in so many different scenarios.
It has been a saviour in times I didn’t want to share the real picture with anyone.
It has been the mantra I use to make myself motivated and positive.
It has been a lie I tell myself often.
Times I felt ‘not fine’, are the actual moments I needed to address the feeling I have, that screams and tells me that I need to stop and look at what’s not fine in me.
The magic trick of making myself believe I am fine has been an age-old tradition of mine.
As an overweight child and teenager, I would always say to anyone who asked me how I was, that “I am fine.” When in reality, I felt the strong emotion of eating everything and anything I could get my hands on. All the while telling myself that I am fine!
Once I have eaten 4 cupcakes I will feel happy. That never happened. But I was always “fine.”
As an unhappy adult in my 20s, for a lot of reasons that life weighed heavily on me, I would always say I was fine but would eventually hide behind spending sprees and adventurous outings. Somehow it never made me feel better.
After years I realised that I couldn’t run from my feelings and manipulate myself into feeling something else. I had to sit with them. Acknowledge them.
Turning 30 made me see all that I wasn’t seeing earlier.
The 365 days to my 30th birthday were laden with unlearning my pride that stopped me from acknowledging whatever I felt.
I stopped telling myself I am too good for anything that is lacking in my life.
I stopped questioning the universe.
I stopped being bitter.
I stopped expecting others to show up for me, instead, I did that myself.
I sat down with my feelings each day, sorting through whatever I felt so that I could move on.
One of the most powerful sentences is, “I am not fine, but I will be!”
And the day I acknowledged that was when I started feeling genuinely fine, no escape needed.
And that truly is the definition of I am fine.
Image Source: Still from short film Name Plate/Blush, via YouTube
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Tripti Dimri had completely won everyone over with her performance in Bulbbul. so there is a great deal riding on her new Netflix film Qala.
Netflix’ latest release, Qala (2022) is Tripti Dimri’s second collaboration with Anvita Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz after Bulbbul (2020). Her performance was applauded in 2020 with Bulbbul’s character becoming well known in most Indian households.
Thus, the audiences certainly had high expectations from Qala, a film that portrays a protagonist who suffers from schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder, in terms of what Dimri, Dutt and Clean Slate Filmz would together deliver.
Does Qala match up to Bulbbul?
A few Bangalore schools recently did a search of students' bags for mobile phones that are banned inside, and were shocked to find condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, etc.
When schools in Bangalore conducted surprise checks of the bags of students to see if they were bringing cell phones to school, they were in for a nasty surprise.
As this report in the Deccan Herald says, “In addition to cell phones, they found condoms, oral contraceptives, cigarettes, lighters and whiteners in the bags of students of grades 8, 9 and 10. To their credit, the school authorities handled the situation with maturity- instead of suspending the students, they informed the parents and/ or guardians and advised them to seek counselling for their wards.”
People are, understandably shocked to find out that adolescents in the age group 12 to 15 years are potentially indulging in sexual intercourse. People largely fall into four camps–
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