Check out these 5 useful tips for a blissful career!
How about overturning this routine? What happens if women eat first and walk away? What happens if a woman eats the best-looking roti and serves burnt roti to her husband?
Last year a Malayalam film The Great Indian Kitchen got much acclaim for its realistic portrayal of women through the theme of everyday life. Discrimination through food is nothing new in Indian families. It continues even in modern homes.
The men are served first. The women eat last. The best-looking chapati or dosa goes to the man of the house. Any burnt chapati or broken dosa is left for women. The boys get a preference for foods like milk or fruits. The girls are often considered lucky if something is left for them.
In houses that cook non-vegetarian food, this translates into the men getting the meatier piece. Women have to make do with gravy and fishtails. All this is practiced so normally and peacefully, that the discrimination is not even felt.
Even in nuclear families, it is the norm in most homes that women wait for men to have food. A man need not wait for his wife to eat. The man eats his fill and leaves without a thought for his wife.
During my childhood visits to my native place, I have seen this ritual of eating in batches. First the children, then men of the family then finally women. At that time I did not notice the disappearing vegetable chunks or eggs. Nobody mentioned it either.
The delicious dishes would often be over by the time the women arrived at the table. They would have to invent dishes with buttermilk as accompaniments.
I wonder what women who face discrimination in their houses teach the new generation? All their education and careers never gave them the right to the best morsel. It was always the leftovers for the women. This practice continues till date. Of course, the men have no parenting responsibilities in this scenario.
My domestic help who earns more than her husband leaves home hungry so that her family can have the food. She makes do with whatever food she gets from the houses she works in. She is always working on an empty stomach while her husband and son eat fruits and eggs daily.
My grouse is that this routine is never overturned. Women never eat first. How about overturning this routine? What happens if women eat first and walk away? What happens if a woman eats the best-looking roti and serves burnt roti to her husband? She would be probably accused of mistreatment.
If a girl comes to the table and serves herself first, then she will be termed selfish. But when practiced by men this becomes a tradition.
It is important to mention that in my father’s family all the women are educated and most pursue teaching careers. Yet they would happily do all this, putting men first – so it’s not the education or lack of it. The children grow up imbibing these values. Schools provide education and companies provide jobs. But no one tells a girl to demand her rightful morsel without waiting for the leftovers.
Image source: a still from short film Ghar ki Murgi
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
From all news reports, clearly, Aftab Poonawalla seems to be a psychopath, and It was a well-strategized story of domestic violence, abuse, subjugation, and a well-planned murder.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, gaslighting, murder, and abetting violence, and may be triggering to survivors.
One case has gripped the nation and I do not need to mention which. My problem is with how the news reflects a victim’s character. The disrespect we show to someone who was long abused and lives no more is appalling. The disservice we do to her through spoken and written words lies in the sensationalizing of the entire case.
How do you spot a crazy human? They do not have two horns and red eyes. They may have no empathy but will show it to lure the victim, just like a child abuser lures a child with candy. Their grooming styles may vary but it is mostly about creating an untrue sense of safety and security around the victim. They present themselves as this effortless savior, an ultimate generous destination for a mentally and emotionally vulnerable person.
Fathers play a crucial role in nurturing and raising children, so why isn't paternity leave considered essential?
Some time ago, Bollywood couple Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt were in the news, yet again. An entertainment website, Bollywood Hungama, reported that the expectant father, Ranbir, wished to take paternity leave to spend time with his baby when it arrived.
The website claimed that the actor would not be signing new films for the time being. He would take care of the child, while his wife Alia would return to work at the earliest.
One would think the internet would laud this sweet and thoughtful gesture. Instead, Ranbir got trolled for his decision to be a stay-at-home dad. Netizens made fun of him; they claimed that it was because he had no offers in the pipeline, and Alia was far more successful than him. Others claimed that it was the right decision – his recent films (other than Brahmastra) had bombed, and it was time he reflected on his roles.
Please enter your email address