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"I remember how my mom defied the stereotype and stood by me when I wanted to call off an engagement because I wasn't happy with the way it was going. My mother advised me to just end it..."
“I remember how my mom defied the stereotype and stood by me when I wanted to call off an engagement because I wasn’t happy with the way it was going. My mother advised me to just end it…”
My mother Tulasi Kohli named me Laxmi as she would fondly call me ‘Jhansi Ki Rani’ She named me so because I survived premature birth. She told me that I was a warrior and inspired me to fight it like a warrior. My mother is my inspiration.
I was born during the seventh month of her pregnancy in our very own home. My father served the Indian navy, while my mother stayed with my grandparents in a village in Uttarakhand.
During those days, there was hardly any hospital closer by, and nor did we have appropriate healthcare facilities. My mother was very young when she gave birth to me as she ensured that I survived. My mother treated me like a princess, I am still her little princess!
I think of my mother as a strong woman who has overcome all odds to ensure that I live and fight every battle life throws at me.
My mother is my biggest support system.
She has always been my pillar of strength. She is my friend, philosopher, and my guide. She let me make my own choices, be it my interest in a particular subject, my profession, marriage, or anything that may be. She stood by my side through thick and thin. I’m fortunate to be her daughter. I have to thank her for where I am today.
I remember how my mom defied the stereotype and stood by me when I wanted to call off an engagement because I wasn’t happy with the way it was going. My mother advised me to just end it, explaining that there was no need to continue the engagement if I wasn’t happy. She was proud of me and my decision.
Little did I realize that the next year she would assist me in finding a man for me. He turned out to be a wonderful person and I’m married to him for over 16 years and have two amazing children. Thank you, Maa, for teaching me not to settle for anything less than what I deserved.
Her life was not perfect yet she chose to do many things in her lifetime by putting her family first.
She was just 11 years old when her mother passed away, and she had to drop out of school to support her family. While she took care of the family, her elder brothers completed their education and started working. She raised her younger sister; imagine a eleven-year-old taking on parental duties.
Despite being married off at a young age, she pursued her studies independently. While my father was away serving the Navy as a commander, my mother had to take care of the family with no help from others. She did an excellent job at it, and she also stood by my dad’s career, accompanying him to other cities.
My mother believed that the education of women was a tool of development. She taught several women in the village to read and write. She would conduct classes post-dinner after finishing the chores of the day.
There was hardly any electricity in the village, yet my mom never gave up as she would conduct her classes under the shade of a lamp by her side. She was so relieved to see those women progressing and managing to read the letters addressed to them.
She inspired and empowered so many women in the village. She believed that if you educate a woman, you educate an entire family.
My mother is my biggest inspiration. She recently told me of an incident in which she applied to the local panchayat for permission to open a school in her village, which was approved. Although she had got the approval to open a school, she assigned it to a woman from the village. The woman’s husband had abandoned her and my mother wanted her to have a better life with dignity and respect. It was a secret that my mother hid from everyone, including her own family. I was moved to tears while hearing about this incident and I hugged my mom.
While I write this I look back at many moments where we both have cried together while some of them were of joy and others were of sorrow. Those little moments of sharing each other’s grief made our bond stronger.
Dear Maa, I love you!
I remember she enjoyed swimming a lot. She was constantly eager to learn new things. She is a tech enthusiast who enjoys experimenting with various machines and gadgets. She is a fantastic chef who would not allow you to leave her house without eating a meal. Apart from the other traits, her parenting is something I want to follow in my life.
My mother, whom I fondly call “Eeja,” has set high standards for my sister and me. As the old adage goes, a daughter is a reflection of her mother, but I’m not sure if I would be able to match my mother’s compassion, love, and care. She has been a pillar of strength for the entire family, and she is our hero. Maa, I love you!
Image Source: Pixabay
Laxmi Todiwan - Founder Indian Women in Hospitality. She is a Professor, Corporate Trainer, Motivational Speaker and a Blogger. An award winning hospitality professional with a career spanning over two decades; people engagement, training and development read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: