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Woman are not baby making machines, and they are not just here to be somebody’s wife. They have aspirations and goals. Time this was better understood by all.
Dr. K Sudhakar, the Karnataka Health Minister, sparked outrage on Sunday for his controversial statements. As reported in the Indian Express, he claimed that modern Indian women wanted to remain single and were unwilling to give birth even after marriage. He also claimed that many women wanted to have children through surrogacy. He further went on to add that the mind-set was “not good.”
Those statements were made during a speech he gave at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurological Sciences on World Mental Health Day (NIMHANS).
“Today, I am sorry to say this, lots of modern women in India want to stay single. Even if they get married, they don’t want to give birth. They want surrogacy. So there is a paradigm shift in our thinking, which is not good,” he said.
The minister’s remarks trended on social media platforms, and several people condemned the minister for making such misogynistic accusations, especially on World Mental Health Day.
Such remarks from a ruling party minister are not only strange, but they also reflect a patriarchal mind-set in which a woman’s choices are scrutinised and controlled. And that men are bewildered by and scared that women are taking their lives into their own hands. Something that Sanyukta Dharmadhikari, Associate Editor of The News Minute speaks of in her tweet about this incident – “most men are terrified and upset when women make their choices.”
The most bizarre aspect is that these misogynistic remarks were uttered by a health minister on World Mental Health Day. Instead of addressing the trauma that women experience simply for being women, the minister blames women’s choices? Will men ever stop giving opinions about what women should with their life and bodies?
The minister also made his remarks while blaming it all on the ‘modern Indian women’. How is it that women’s freedom to make their own decisions regarding marriage and childbirth is a source of concern for health minister? Will the minister also address about modern Indian men acting like a man child and depriving women? Such statements are examples of how women’s mental health issues go unaddressed — a privileged man explaining, what’s not good for women on world mental health day isn’t anything new for women.
Men have long feared women’s freedom and still continue to dictate women’s lives. It’s absolutely an individual’s choice to marry or to remain single. Not every woman wants to be wife or mother and there is nothing wrong in that, it is her choice. Most men are unaware that pregnancy trauma exists, that experiencing the misery for nine months and dealing with postpartum repercussions are both painful experiences, and that in spite of this, men continue to make misogynistic remarks.
Instead of speaking about gender equality and awareness, such remarks by the minister only reeks of patriarchy. As Faye D Souza a prominent Indian journalist tweeted ironically, “Ah, the modern woman of India. If only women would marry and stay at home we would solve unemployment, poverty, petrol and LPG prices, lack of hospital beds, potholed roads, electricity shortage, crime and hunger.”
Woman are not baby making machines and they are not just here to be somebody’s wife. They have aspirations and goals. Not only modern Indian women, every single woman has the absolute right to choose what they want to do with their life and this is the paradigm shift.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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