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Women can choose to do anything, so why limit them to being somebody's wife or somebody's mother?
Ever since I have completed my post-graduation, everyone seems to be interested in my wedding, focusing on who I would marry rather than encouraging me to be financially independent.
Most days I have struggled to step out of the house confidently; on other days I just get schooled on how to be a good wife or how to master the art of being a sanskaari woman. I know most women go through this but somedays it’s so hard to not give a f&^k.
I remember walking into an ashram and a priest told me you are 25, get married, and I said no I would rather work my ass off than depend on someone. The other day, a distant relative of mine seemed concerned about how I would live a happy life without being somebody’s wife.
My parents are often bombarded with questions about my marriage; instead, I wish they cared to ask about my accomplishments or what my opinions are on the institution of marriage as well.
Why are women not told how important it is to be financially independent? Isn’t it important for every individual to earn and support themselves? Why then are women forced to get married? Why should a woman be excluded from this? It’s beyond disgusting to witness and hear “jaldi shaadi karlo, aur pati ke ghar ke kaam sambhalo, agar umar hoagyi toh koyi nahi shaadi karega.” (Get married soon and take charge of your husband’s home, or else you will be left single).
I think most people are scared to educate their women with financial freedom because they are very much aware that financial freedom will bring individual freedom of choice and most men do not wish women to have that choice. Because the choice makes women powerful and most people fear that.
Isn’t it high time to stop addressing them as somebody’s wife or mother?
I cannot believe so many people that I know act so progressive on social media yet still they slyly manage to pass comments about my marriage. No, do not get me wrong, I’m not against marriage, it’s an individual choice but I don’t think anyone else should get to decide when a woman should get married or what women should do with their lives. Like I said, marriage is just an individual choice but it ain’t something that women are bound to do with their life.
Women can still find love without being married, women can be successful and happy without being married. Basically, women can choose to do anything, so why limit them to being somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother?
It’s not wrong but that’s not how women should be identified – women are their own person, they’re beyond being somebody’s wife or mother. Being married shouldn’t be their only identity.
I remember reading women poets of the 18th and 19th centuries protesting against the institution of marriage and patriarchy; isn’t it a little ironic to see that even three centuries later, our so-called progressive society is still hung up on the idea of female virtue of forcing them to be a dutiful wife rather than empowering them to be financially liberated?
In the wise words of my beloved poet Virginia Woolf, “Yes, I deserve spring- I owe nobody nothing.”
Image is a scene from the Hindi movie Pagglait
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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