I Don’t Need A Man To Build My Castle, I Will Build My Own

Ever since I have completed my post-graduation, everyone seems to be interested in my wedding, focusing on who I would marry rather than encouraging me to be financially independent.

Most days I have struggled to step out of the house confidently; on other days I just get schooled on how to be a good wife or how to master the art of being a sanskaari woman. I know most women go through this but somedays it’s so hard to not give a f&^k.

I remember walking into an ashram and a priest told me you are 25, get married, and I said no I would rather work my ass off than depend on someone. The other day, a distant relative of mine seemed concerned about how I would live a happy life without being somebody’s wife.

My parents are often bombarded with questions about my marriage; instead, I wish they cared to ask about my accomplishments or what my opinions are on the institution of marriage as well.

No dear society, I do not need a man to support my life, I’m enough to support myself

Why are women not told how important it is to be financially independent? Isn’t it important for every individual to earn and support themselves? Why then are women forced to get married? Why should a woman be excluded from this? It’s beyond disgusting to witness and hear “jaldi shaadi karlo, aur pati ke ghar ke kaam sambhalo, agar umar hoagyi toh koyi nahi shaadi karega.” (Get married soon and take charge of your husband’s home, or else you will be left single).

Liberated women are untamed and powerful and most men fear that

I think most people are scared to educate their women with financial freedom because they are very much aware that financial freedom will bring individual freedom of choice and most men do not wish women to have that choice. Because the choice makes women powerful and most people fear that.

When will our society recognize a woman as an individual human being?

Isn’t it high time to stop addressing them as somebody’s wife or mother?

I cannot believe so many people that I know act so progressive on social media yet still they slyly manage to pass comments about my marriage. No, do not get me wrong, I’m not against marriage, it’s an individual choice but I don’t think anyone else should get to decide when a woman should get married or what women should do with their lives. Like I said, marriage is just an individual choice but it ain’t something that women are bound to do with their life.

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Women can still find love without being married, women can be successful and happy without being married. Basically, women can choose to do anything, so why limit them to being somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother?

It’s not wrong but that’s not how women should be identified – women are their own person, they’re beyond being somebody’s wife or mother. Being married shouldn’t be their only identity.

I don’t need a man to build my castle, I will build my own

I remember reading women poets of the 18th and 19th centuries protesting against the institution of marriage and patriarchy; isn’t it a little ironic to see that even three centuries later, our so-called progressive society is still hung up on the idea of female virtue of forcing them to be a dutiful wife rather than empowering them to be financially liberated?

In the wise words of my beloved poet Virginia Woolf, “Yes, I deserve spring- I owe nobody nothing.”

Image is a scene from the Hindi movie Pagglait

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