#CelebrateingtheRainbow at the workplace – share your stories of Pride!
With the abuse she faced from her husband, the Princess Of Wales lost everything to her marriage: her essence, her joy, her title, her confidence, her sanity, all her hope and eventually her life!
Trigger Warning: This speaks of domestic violence in graphic details, and may be triggering to survivors.
As I watched each episode of The Crown reveal all the hidden secrets of Princess Diana and Prince Charles, I went deeper into shock and heartbreak. This wasn’t a fairytale story, it was the brutal reality of one more woman lost into the abyss of marriage.
Where once stood a beautiful, radiant girl filled with love and joy – now stood the shell of a woman, devoid of all hope and faith. And though the world will never really get over the tragic death of Princess Diana, let’s read why the bigger tragedy here is the glossed over history of torture for all women.
I am not referring to the truth or exaggeration of these reel moments, but more to the fact that the story hints towards all the unconscious, real struggles a woman has to face and how these can change her forever.
Note that some might be trigger points for you and you might feel like that’s exactly what you have experienced, either with a partner or a just a loved one. The goal is to recognise these concealed themes of exploitation by the society so that you can stand up to them – fearlessly.
Subtly undermining the other’s feelings or thoughts, to a point that they stop believing it themselves!
Prince Charles keeps telling Diana that she is self-delusional, too sensitive and selfish – and that she is the reason that the marriage won’t work. He uses a highly typical way of gaslighting his wife: the constant alternating between silent treatments and angry rages. It is a commonly used tactic to punish someone and gain control. This causes Diana to lose all self-trust and fall into anxiety patterns.
This includes giving a lot of love and then suddenly pulling away to the point of neglect, so that the receiver is stuck in a cycle of guilt, neediness and self-blame.
Princess Diana could never figure out what she did wrong and was stuck trying to improve herself for Charles. Thus began her lifelong struggle with an eating disorder. But the problem had never been with her!
Another great tactic to gain control over someone so that they do exactly as you say. Charles keeps going back to his mistress, complaining that Diana isn’t able to serve or understand him.
At one point, he tries to shame Diana for wanting her newborn close and on the other hand, guilts her later for being away from her teenage sons to go to New York for a few days.
A feeling of entitlement and exaggerated self-importance while looking down on others.
Charles constantly disregards Diana’s needs and believes that she should be the one pleasing him. He puts no effort towards helping her but constantly complains about his own displeasures, blaming her for his problems.
Pointing out flaws in another person that are actually your own.
Charles keeps telling Diana about how insecure, selfish and attention-seeking she is. But everyone in the royal family uses those exact same words to describe Charles. He is projecting his own issues, pretending that she is the one with all the flaws. And sadly, she starts doubting herself.
Being biased towards a particular gender, usually males in patriarchal societies.
The royal family and everyone else quietly and knowingly accept Charles’ affair for over 15 years while Diana is immediately shamed for committing the same ‘sin’. She is expected to love and accept him along with his mistress, while Diana alone lives up to the vows made by both of them. It hints towards the widely accepted theme, ‘men will be men’. To begin with, this lifelong affair is exactly what broke Diana.
Charles claims that Diana has gone crazy and makes sure that others know it too.
After being constantly put down and humiliated for years, Diana begins to lose all her self-confidence and trust. She starts thinking that she is going to be a huge failure in New York. Thankfully, she manages it beautifully.
Manipulative schemes can lead to a person being completely cut-off from others while feeling totally alone.
Charles makes sure that Diana has no one to reach out to and when she does try, he subtly makes her issues and affairs known to the outside world. The royal family contributes to this problem by being silent observers and not answering her multiple cries for help. Diana eventually begins to feel that she is going mad.
If you feel that any of this might be happening to you, I strongly urge you to research more on the different kinds of abuse or reach out to a counsellor for timely support. After all, you owe it to yourself.
The Princess Of Wales lost everything to this marriage: her essence, her joy, her title, her confidence, her sanity, all her hope and eventually her life!
How long will we wait and watch as more such tragedies unravel around us, while we do nothing?
There are millions of women facing psychological, emotional, mental, verbal or physical abuse. I know that we cannot protect all the women suffering out there. But if you are one of them, just know that NOTHING and NO ONE takes priority above YOU. So let the games stop and let your life begin!
Love to all the amazing women out there – keep shining your light!
Note: Diana, Princess of Wales died in a car accident in Paris on 31st August 1997, while trying to escape from chasing by the paparazzi.
If you or anyone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, here are some of the helplines available in India. Please call.
Aasra, Mumbai: 022-27546669
Sneha, Chennai: 044-2464 0050
Lifeline, Kolkata: 033-2474 4704
Sahai, Bangalore: 080–25497777
Roshni, Hyderabad: 040-66202000, 040-66202001
SPEAK2us – Tamilnadu 9375493754
Image source: Interview of Princess Diana/ YouTube
Mrs India 2020-2021 | Internationally Bestselling Author | CMO, Seobal Business Solutions | Speaker | Coach | GlobeTrotter | Altruist
Haswata is an Internationally Bestselling Author, Speaker, Coach and Entrepreneur. She is also a World Record Holder for the book read more...
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