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Mother-In-Law Gives My Husband Pocket Money And Controls Privacy As He Is…’Just A Child.’

Posted: July 20, 2021

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A new mom learns to feed, protect, and educate her child. But what happens when the mother keeps doing it even after 30 years?!  

My husband is a middle aged man but my mother-in-law still treats him like a baby.  From finances to his honeymoon and married life, everything is controlled by her.

She controls him to such an extent that he has to lie to her to socialize with his friends. I am dealing with such a mom-in-law and my life is starting to get messy. 

My 34-year-old husband still gets pocket money 

This may be hard to believe, but my 34 year old husband still gets pocket money for his personal expenses. My mother-in-law pays him a monthly amount as if he was still a kid. He has never used a debit/credit card on his own. He has a car but every time petrol should be filled, my MIL or SIL accompany him and swipe HIS card. Their reason? He’s just a kid and keeps loosing things.

 

No honeymoon or locked bedrooms but wants grandkids

Me and my husband haven’t been allowed to go on our honeymoon even after 3 years of marriage because we do not want to take our MIL along. The last time we booked tickets hotel and everything, it had to be cancelled just a few hours before our flight because she started her drama. We did not even get any refund.

We are also not allowed to lock our bedroom door at night because my MIL comes to keep checking on my husband. Things got so bad that we sleep on the same bed but at two corners with separate blankets. And then she asks why you don’t have kids?

What’s more my 37-year-old sister-in-law with a 5 year old daughter still stays with her mother because she is ‘too young to move in with her husband and take care of her house, in-laws, husband and family’. While 30-year old me is taunted everyday that my mom didn’t teach me anything.

 

Need her permission to travel or buy even a bottle of shampoo

She has never allowed her kids to travel, except for work. So whenever my husband has any trip with friends he just lies and goes partying, of course without me. Her middle-aged daughter has to do the same. And my MIL lives in the misconception that her children are so decent and obedient.

Every penny spent has to go through her approval, even if it is my own money. I need to take permission to buy even a bottle of shampoo otherwise the drama begins.

Friends or relatives are not allowed to be invited without her permission. Even if I talk to neighbours she starts insulting my parents and the people I am talking to, things are so bad that none of our neighbours talk with us, or invite us to functions. Her relatives avoid her like the plague and usually many back out of functions when they know she is going.

The decor of the house, furniture, curtains, bedsheets even pillowcases have to be her selection, anything else is not allowed in her house and I am not allowed a place of my own away from here.

 

I have heard of mamma’s boy but this is just next level!

I too have parents and they were protective of me, but this is just another level. I tried talking to my husband that we need to take her to a counsellor, she has some anxiety issues, but my husband thinks that I am trying to question his family.

The work from home has just been a curse so far. How do I handle all this and stay sane? Now I am actually getting doubts if this is a disorder of some kind.

At a point I had to to talk to a counsellor for my own sanity. She suggested that I take a break and try to see things when I am calm and  not surrounded with all this tension. It worked for some time. But I am now feeling physically, emotionally and most-importantly mentally weak to deal with this.  I have heard of mamma’s boy but this is just next level!

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