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Women have always been known to give their all for their profession, household and family. Leaving no room for themselves.
Those of us born in the late 1980s and early 1990s still suffer from this innate need to be ‘worthy’ as an individual. Though I am not sure if the men feel this too but almost all the women I know in this age bracket (including myself) are in a constant battle with themselves.
I see my mother, aunts and a few female cousins leading their lives on a linear path without getting hyper over the value they add to their lives. They seem to have accepted that their role is solely that of a homemaker or single parent or a spinster who chases her ambition. And they don’t seem to question their efforts.
On the other hand, there are young women like me, especially the ones in their late 20s and 30s. We seem to constantly have a to and fro from elation at achievements to sheer loss of worth due to failures.
Personally speaking, I have been fortunate to see at least one good aspect in life, whether it was doing well in studies or jobs or choosing to settle down successfully. But I often suffer from the issue of wanting it all.
Call me overly ambitious or greedy, but I do want to see myself excel in both aspects of life. Whether it is doing well in my chosen profession or adding great value to my home as a homemaker, I want it all. I often set such high standards that half my focus goes into the one aspect that takes a backseat.
But isn’t this the reality of life?
Whether we admit to it or not, subconsciously we do take one aspect of our lives for granted. We do believe that we have spent enough time on one aspect of life and that it’s vital to now give attention to the other one. This can mean wanting to put our profession on the back burner or our household.
Either way what I have learnt is, we can’t possibly give our 100 percent to two paths in life. We have to at times chose where to put our focus on. Where to assign most of our manifestation powers. And not to take it personally should one aspect become redundant for a while.
As a generation that has learnt to embrace freedom and use it for our betterment, there is a downside to it as well. We constantly expect a lot out of ourselves and try to make ourselves the perfect achiever.
Here is where my mother’s generation’s outlook balances out. To be extremely focused on one aspect and keeping it afloat without getting bogged down by any other aspect that isn’t working out.
At times we need to appreciate the positive outcomes in life which are our labour. We cannot put the label of overachiever on ourselves and keep us from reaping the benefits of the efforts we put in our lives.
Here is where we need to step in and keep some room for ourselves, to give ourselves a break and bask in the success we all achieved. It can be a promotion, planning a family, looking after the elders, raising a child.
A successful woman is not the one who has it all. She is the one who appreciates all that she has acquired in different stages of her life with 100 percent effort solely on that particular goal.
Picture credits: Still from Marathi TV series Aai Kuthe Kay Karte
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