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Instead of bombarding a newly-married woman with too many roles, give her space to explore her new world while following her own dreams!
An Indian bride is the epitome of beauty on her wedding day – with her attire and jewels she’s wearing. Isn’t she? Quite often, she has dreamt of seeing herself as the prettiest bride which makes her feel like a completely different personality.
She may hate all the gold and glittery clothes she’s supposed to wear but she can’t escape them, either. But when she sees herself in the mirror, she falls in love with herself!
At the same time, all this lasts only the first few days of her marriage. The world around her changes completely on her journey from Miss to Mrs. All of a sudden, her looks, lifestyle, choices and independence start to seem like puzzle pieces that need to fit into newer places. Most importantly, her name gets a new identity.
Meanwhile, there is barely any difference in how the man is seen. His looks aren’t critiqued and neither does he have to make a major difference in how he lives his life.
However, things are slowly changing in society and we are starting to believe a little more in gender equality. Let me give you my own example. I consider myself a gloriously married woman even though I don’t wear a mangalsutra.
If you’re wondering why I don’t wear it, it’s because I believe that my chord of love and luck is emotionally tangled with my better-half. Having said that, I do respect the ones who believe in wearing the mangalsutra as long as it is an individual choice to wear it.
I don’t wear sindoor or bangles very often. In short, you can say that I don’t really have the ‘traditional’ proof to show any stranger that I am married. I don’t fast for my ‘husband’s long life’ either. While it is mandatory for several women to fast, I chose not to do it.
It is my personal opinion that a married woman is a robust person who hasn’t just married her partner but his entire family. She has made a commitment to bring love and positivity to her new house and family.
The woman loves her partner wholeheartedly and (depending on her beliefs) prays for him, which doesn’t necessarily mean fasting. She knows how to face the toughest challenges that life has thrown at her.
The woman balances all her responsibilities of being a working woman and a married woman. She even helps her husband’s family grow his family by giving birth to the next generation.
So, why don’t we stop judging women according to their marital status! A married woman is still a woman with several dreams who is trying to live in her fantasy world.
Don’t bombard her with roles and responsibilities as soon as she steps into the new role. Give her space to explore her married world, let her grow and become confident in the new space.
So, whether she wears sarees or western clothes, with or without jewels, if she chooses to work or not, let her live her own life. Let the woman be herself because I believe she is the epitome of strength and wisdom.
Picture credits: Still from Amazon Prime’s series Made In Heaven
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Sagarika Sahoo has done MBA and M.Com and pursued her career as a lecturer. She had short term experience in IT companies as a finance professional as well. She is now a full-time read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Neena Gupta’s take on love between a man and woman opens a can of worms. She’s speaking her truth, which is a reality for so many people, but is it universal?
Neena Gupta made a statement in her interview with Humans of Bombay that she doesn’t believe love exists between a man and a woman. She said it starts off with lust, which then changes into affection, and becomes a habit. The only love she’s ever known and felt is for her daughter, Masaba.
Neena is married to Vivek Mehra, a chartered accountant who she first met on a flight. Vivek Mehra has two children, and it’s his second marriage. It’s Neena’s second marriage too. She was earlier married at an early age of 20. She has one child, Masaba, from her previous relationship with the now retired West Indian cricketer, Vivian Richards.
Her statement about love evoked some vehement reactions ranging from she’s not met the right man to “blood runs thicker than water”.
A man doing a PhD is rebuked for not earning well. A woman on other hand is constantly questioned why she's doing a PhD when she should have been married and raising kids.
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I too, was fascinated with the white coat fascination alongside with the Dr tag, right from childhood. However, I did not score the marks required for getting into medical college, and my dream landed on the ground with a thud, and I went in for a graduation in sciences.
My graduation and post-graduation were a roller coaster ride and a second post-graduation which I pursued since I wanted to get into the academic career brought with itself a new perspective towards life. That year I shone like the brightest star and became the most meritorious student of the campus. I cleared my Net exam much before the post-graduation results were declared, and became a sort of sensation in the university. One of my professors remarked, “So we see the next doctor in making now” when he congratulated me.
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