On Valentine’s Day I Want To Wear Red… Why Can’t I?

It is unbelievable that even in 2021, a widow is expected to not dress up, wear colours... when will this change?

It is unbelievable that even in 2021, a widow is expected to not dress up, wear colours… when will this change?

Today when I opened my personal mail inbox, I saw this mail from Women’s Web with the subject line: Can’t moms dress up, True story of return to work…

It took me back a couple of years to an incident that I had faced, and a short snippet that I had written but never shared with anyone.

I thought of sharing the words today. It is not about the work place or about moms dressing up, but about the age old traditions of society telling us women what to wear:

I want to wear Red

I want to wear red and who are you to tell me that I can’t?

Last April on my birthday I asked my mom to gift me a beautiful red dress. And I decided that I would wear it this Valentine’s Day.

Yes I am a romantic at heart. I love Love! I was looking forward to wearing that beautiful red dress this 14th Feb to a party. 

Every year 14th Feb where I live we have a Valentine’s Day programme, and everyone wears red.

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And today the mail from the organizing committee came regarding the color code for women. Seriously! Seriously! Anyone in love wear red, anyone newly in love wear pink, anyone for better luck next time wear black.

So what do I wear? I am a widow in love with life and living with the memories of her dead husband, what do I wear? 

I have an awesome black dress, so do I rock my status in that. Or do I just decide that I am not going to fall in this planned color scheme and wear yellow instead. 

I am half in the mood to still wear and rock the red dress. Who are you to tell me that I can’t wear red? 

I didn’t like the mail. That’s all… if I wear red anyone who knows about me would either be super supportive or they would be like… “ooooh tell me about him.”

If I wear black they will be quite and not say anything.

Who are these people to tell me what to wear. I might be over reacting but why cant we be choose our own colors, our own style? Why do we always have someone to tell us what to wear, what not to wear.

When will this change?!

I recently watched The Last Color by Vikash Khanna, and while watching the movie I kept thinking that society has come a long way from where we were. But there is still a long way to go.

We as women are still being judged for make up, hair styles, sporting piercings, tattoos, dressing styles. And when you are a widow even in 2021 believe me eyebrows are still raised and mostly by people close to us.

By the way… I did wear RED to that party!

Image source: shutterstock

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A voracious reader, a writer, a poet, a die-hard romantic, a dream enthusiast, a single mom. read more...

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