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With the marriage season on in full swing, we wondered about the ‘un-bride-like’ things you’ve done. Here are some of the best responses!
Since after Diwali, any time I’ve opened any of my social media feeds – be it Instagram, Facebook or even Twitter, all I’ve seen is people getting married. Whether it is brides in their finest (read: shiniest clothes) or men proposing to their girlfriends, it’s weddings and proposals all the way.
Now, I am not against marriage in any way, not at all. Weddings are fun, no doubt. But they also have their own share of patriarchal ways of telling women what to do and what not to do.
Well, I remember, attending a cousin’s wedding where random aunties were complaining about how the bride was laughing at the wedding. I mean, imagine the audacity to laugh at her own wedding! Then came the fact that she happily posed during the bidaai ceremony and didn’t even cry. Again, imagine! Her audacity to be happy to be married to the guy she’d been dating for some eight-nine years!
Well, that got me thinking, why are brides asked to be a certain way? ‘Don’t smile too much!’ ‘No. Don’t laugh!’ ‘Don’t talk to your husband during the ceremony!’ and the list goes on and on and on. Is it because they’re supposed to be coy, shy, sanskaari brides who do not look their husbands in the eyes and will only say ‘Yes.’ ‘Yes.’ and smile all the time?
Do patriarchy and our society really expect us all to be the Gopi bahus in the family (minus the laptop washing, of course!)
Now, with my parents trying super hard to get me married, I was obviously curious as to what kind of a bride I would be. Knowing myself, I am definitely going to enjoy getting married, whenever (if ever) it happens! And if the pandit gets too ritualistic, I will fight with him and refuse all patriarchal rituals (kanyadaan, I am looking at you!)
So with all this in mind, we decided to ask our readers what was the most ‘un-bride-like’ thing they did on their wedding day! Some of them are so inspirational, I swear, I have half a mind to do them myself! Do you also need the inspiration to do what you want on your wedding day? Well, dear ladies, this is your sign!
From being task-oriented brides to tripping over their lehengas to doing the naagin dance, our badass readers have done it all! Here are some of our top favourite responses!
A user named Trishaa1104 told us how she laughed like a ‘demoness on the loose’ and also managed to trip and stumble while walking and laughed at herself. Well, this super ‘clumsy’ bride also didn’t cry at her bidaai much to the horror of all the aunties around.
Since we are on the topic of clumsiness and laughter, I have to share Keerthy Ramann’s story. Her poor husband’s dhoti fell off and she (like all of us mortals) burst out laughing, only to be yelled at by the pandit! Talk about a comedy of errors!
Hina Saxena was called a ‘shameless bride’ by her mother for laughing during the ceremony. But the cool bride that she is, she even did the naagin dance at the wedding. (Goals, I tell you!)
And then there was Abhhinaya who danced like she was the bridesmaid and even chanted the mantras with the pandit. This right here is bride goals for me! Similarly, Zaiba Dalvi, too laughed and giggled during her wedding ceremony much to her aunt’s embarrassment.
What she did next, however, is the most relatable thing ever! She almost ran down the stairs after the mehendi ceremony was over only so she could get out of the long and (I am assuming) heavy outfit to get into comfortable clothes!
Sangeeta Das and her husband sure enjoyed their wedding to the fullest when they pulled out the flowers from the mandap and threw them at each other. While the pandit also joined in on their fun, they definitely got a little scolding from the elders. Now that is what I call the wedding of my dreams!
Well, not all of our brides were having fun and laughing, some of them were super practical and task-oriented hosts. Take for example Smeagol_91’s story. This badass bride drove herself and her husband to her parents’ place and back to his parents’ place after the ceremony. And people, obviously, commented on how they’d ‘never seen a bride drive herself home before’
Rukmani Shah did something I can only dream of doing. She financed and made all the arrangements for the wedding before dressing up to be the bride and the host. Then there was Monica Tarwani who was making sure everyone had their plates filled with food and were eating well enough.
Aditi Singh tells us how she attended classes in the first half of the day, went home and changed into a simple cotton dress. Then she got into an auto to head to the registrar’s office to get married. Simple yet practical and absolutely sweet, I must say!
Francina M cleaned her house, washed dishes, served lunch to the guests who were at her place before getting ready. She got ready in around 30 minutes, finishing her make-up and hair and getting into her bridal attire. With all these tasks, it’s no wonder she didn’t feel like a pampered bride but like a task-oriented host, instead!
A common theme that I saw in all these comments was the number of women who didn’t cry during their bidaai ceremony. And quite honestly, that is something that makes me happy. After all, aren’t we embarking on a whole new journey in our lives and why would we want to start it with tears? Sure, we’ll miss our family but they’d always be there for us along with a whole new family to love and cherish and pamper us! (But that’s just what I feel)
So here’s to a new journey, tripping and falling over lehengas and dancing at our weddings!
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Happy Bhaag Jaegi
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Reader, writer and currently an Associate Editor at Women's Web, I survive on coffee
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