“Eclectic, interesting…will fill you with hope and resolve!” – Pick up our new short story collection, Women.Mutiny
Accept it, all of us have dreamt of the man we would be spending our lives with! But here are 10 ‘bad boys’ none of us should settle for!
No matter how much we deny it, we all have different aspirations when it comes to thinking of our lives with a guy. However, we don’t end up with our ‘ideal man’ who has all the qualities we seek.
Since none of us are ideal humans ourselves, let’s take a look at some of the qualities that we absolutely shouldn’t want in a man!
The misogynist. We already live in a world of misogynists, so we definitely need to have a man who wants equality for all genders. While we may like indulging in housework and doing it for our men, we would also like to be appreciated for the things considered a ‘woman’s job.’
The Controller. While the Indian Constituition guarantees us various freedoms, the same is denied by some of our most intimate relationships. How many of us have heard ‘shaadi ke baad, pati ke saath ghoomna’ (roam around as much as you want after you’re married)? But what if the husbands hates ‘letting’ you go out alone and wants to control all the aspects of your life? Think about it and ask yourself if you’d want someone like that in your life.
The one who discriminates between children. We all want to celebrate the birth of our child, whether it is a girl or a boy. However, the same applies to a child with disabilities or a transgender child or a homosexual child. We need men who consider themselves ready for any of these and ones who will support their child, no matter what.
The hypocrite. Whether it is celebrating working women while not ‘allowing’ their wives to work or having opposing ideas for other women and their wives, we don’t need such men. We don’t need men who are hyprocrites about anything at all.
The one who ‘prohibits’ you from wearing what you want. While some times, married women have to change their entire style of dressing, men can continue wearing t-shirts and shorts and no one bats an eyelid. Though we don’t mind changing our dressing at times, we would appreciate it if our husbands didn’t tell us what to wear and instead took a stand for us!
The Mumma’s boy! I think some of you may find this offensive on some levels but hear me out. We don’t want to separate men from their mothers. I mean, whom would we complain to about our husbands for a long lasting solution! However, what I do mean to say is, men need to have a balance between their mothers and wives. They need to call both of them out for any mistakes. The concept of ‘elders are always right is slowly disappearing and anyone who accepts this is definitely a keeper.
One who practices patriarchal and regressive rituals. There are several rituals across culturals that are offensive to both the genders and their families. I mean, who hasn’t heard the term ‘manglik’ and the marriage to a tree associated to it? And what about women being made to fast for the long and healthy lives of their husbands? We wouldn’t really want someone forcing these ideas on us, would we? However, we do want our men to respect our choices whether we want to or don’t want to perform these rituals.
The one who doesn’t respect your choices. We all need a man who supports and respects our choices. From the way we dress to our eating choices to working after marriage, these choices need to be respected. This is 2020 and this needs to be norm!
One who supports dowry. I admit, I have heard my own share of stories of men complaining about alimony, false dowry cases by women and women wanting successful men. However, none of this ever justifies the system of dowry. Nothing justifies taking money or ‘gifts’ (like cars and houses) for marriage. Make your own choices, marry whoever you want and on your own conditions but do not support dowry in any form. What is wrong is simply wrong.
The one who mocks you in public to look cool. This is something a lot of women might have experienced at some point of time. The man who makes fun of you in order to look cool in front of people and one who will never appreciate you. Let me tell you this, if you call her ‘beautiful’ or ‘intelligent’ once in front of your peers, she will remember it for a week or two. But if you call her ‘fat’ or ‘dumb,’ she will remember it and hurt about it all her life.
Women are constantly hearing comments about their age, weight, height, skin colour and clothes more than men do. As her partner, it is your duty to make her feel loved, not ashamed.
To summarise, women will adjust to anything and anyone because that’s how they are conditioned but they have the right to stay happy too! Any man with even a single one of these qualities is a nightmare for any woman.
Do let me know in the comments if any of these are qualities you don’t like in your man or if you have any other qualities you’d want to share!
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Pati, Patni Aur Woh
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live..
15 Inspiring Gender Equality Quotes That Will Leave You Thinking
The Secret Thoughts Of A Broken Girl [Part-4]
The F-worded Fight: What Do Feminists Ask For?
Unless We All Speak Up Against Sexism In Our Families, Our Daughters Will Have Uncertain Futures
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!