Read our prestigious winners at the 10th Laadli Media Awards, on India’s Low Divorce Rate and The Sexual Violence of Flashing.

An Educated Household And The Misogyny Within

Posted: December 21, 2020

We are live on Facebook with industry experts discussing How To Handle Conflict With Your Peers or Managers More Successfully on Jan 21st at 4:30 PM on Facebook. Join us.

Do educated households practice equality between men and women? My experience tells me internalised misogyny abounds in these households.

In order to start this story, let me begin with an anecdote “ we should focus more on teaching our sons the value of equality”. We all must have heard this once in a while. This more often than not suggests our failure as a society to teach our sons. And also points out the internalised misogyny which is so difficult to remove. We as daughters are adamant about not wanting to living the lives our mother lived. But the sons of the family are lured into finding a woman who works like their mother.

The misogyny a friend faces

In a related incident, Neha, a doctor preparing for her PG, lives with her family. Both her parents have PhDs, a sister who is a lawyer in making and a brother who just entered into MBBS. When she visited her maternal grandmother (a retired principal), she was told to call her brother “Aap” and “Ji”, as he is now going to be a doctor. Neha initially ignored this completely as a ruse. But then she found out that the people had been serious all along and everyone else was calling him that way.

How many of you call both your parents as “aap”? Or is it just your father?

She also observed that among her 7 year old twin cousins(boy, girl), the boy once pushed his sister hard enough for her to need a doctor. Yet the sister was scolded. Yes, the girl was scolded, apparently because she was standing in her brother’s way and should have moved. I wonder if the victim of a drunk driver is blamed for walking in the driver’s way, as well?

The pressure to get married

Neha was being pressurised to get married at an age as early as 20. Now at the age of 25, her uncle who is also a doctor told her that she won’t be able to have kids. She, being 5’2”, was taunted about not being able to marry a guy due to her height. Even though her height, I think, is pretty normal!

These are just some of the things a girl goes through almost everyday. There is no right age, no right dialect, no right height, no right path to walk on for women even within her own family. I just hope that the equality that we talk about can be materialised in “educated” homes.

P.S: this is a true story of my friend with the names and a few details changed for privacy. Do comment on any similar incident that you faced.

Image source: Pixabay

Liked this post?

Register at Women's Web to get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads! Or - get a couple of really cool reads on your phone every day - click here to join our Telegram channel.

Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!

Often the test of courage is not to die but to live..

Learn More

Being The 'Woman Boss' - With Apurva Purohit

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Do you want to be part of a network curated for working women?