#CelebrateingtheRainbow at the workplace – share your stories of Pride!
I have been called 'sexy' by many people, but does that make it Ok for you to expect me to talk about sex with you or fantasise about me? NO.
I have been called ‘sexy’ by many people, but does that make it Ok for you to expect me to talk about sex with you or fantasise about me? NO.
When I was 16, I often received the compliment ‘sexy,’ while my sister was always the cute one. While I was too young to discover the meaning of the term and explore my sexuality, many found me capable of attracting the opposite gender. I sang ‘sexy sexy sexy, mujhe log bole’ and brushed it off my mind, though it haunted me for a long time.
I had other important things to focus on on- films, fiction, and my career!
Growing up, I found a lot of people interested in my ‘virginity’ and sexual interests. I realized that many people find it a pleasurable fantasy to decode people’s personal lives and write the script inside their heads.
But, the worst part is when they play ugly mind games to decode your personal experiences, and you become the living character of their pleasurable fantasies!
Under many circumstances, I found people making an excuse to step into my personal life and space. Sometimes, they even tried to manipulate me into talking about sex. Let me quote a recent comment by someone via LinkedIn – “Being sexy is not all bad and talking about sex is not negative.”
Most of the time, I heard similar comments. I agree with them, but stepping into someone’s boundaries with any excuse is ugly and negative.
While I know that talking about sex is not regressive, even without the poor demonstration skills on social media, I am not comfortable playing a role inside people’s heads! I might be comfortable about writing a pleasurable fantasy for the world, but I might not be comfortable to chat about sex or sexuality with a specific person!
I believe that today what’s really sexy is to respect someone else’s personal boundaries and individual choices, without being judgmental!
If I am not comfortable to talk about my sex life, please don’t insist that I do so because you want me to talk about it with you! That is regressive, and doesn’t make you an attractive person.
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Can you believe this bloke compelled me to wear only saris - full time at home- till the eighth month of my pregnancy?! The excessive heat coupled with humidity made my life miserable.
Recently when I browsed an interesting post by a fellow author on this very forum I had a sense of déjà vu. She describes the absolutely unnecessary hullabaloo over ladies donning nighties and /or dupatta –less suits.
I wish to narrate how I was in dire straits so far wearing a ‘nightie’ was concerned.
I lived in my ultra orthodox sasural under constant surveillance of two moral guardians (read Taliban) in the shape of the husband’s mom and dad. The mom was unschooled and dim-witted while the dad was a medical practitioner. But he out-Heroded the Herod in orthodoxy.
My supervisor introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As a transwoman navigating the corporate world, I had encountered my fair share of discrimination and challenges. Transitioning without the support of my parents and having limited friendships in my personal life made the journey difficult and lonely. However, when I stepped into the office, something remarkable happened, I left behind the stress and negativity, embracing a space where I could truly be myself.
Joining the marketing team as a graphic designer, I was initially apprehensive about how my colleagues would react to my gender identity. But to my surprise, the atmosphere was welcoming and respectful from day one. My supervisor, Sarah, introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As I settled into my role, I discovered that my colleagues went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and included. They consistently used my correct name and pronouns, creating an environment where I could be authentically me. Being an introvert, making friends wasn’t always easy for me, but within this workplace, I found a supportive community that embraced me for who I truly am. The workplace became a haven where I could escape the stresses of my personal life and focus on my professional growth.
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